Janet Devlin has admitted she had suicidal thoughts during her time on The X Factor.
The singer was just 17 when she came fifth on the 2011 series – which was ultimately won by Little Mix.
Writing in her new biography ‘Confessional’, Janet said: “During my time on the show the dark clouds came back in full force.”
“If I wasn’t rehearsing a performance or surrounded by other contestants at the X Factor house, I would be contemplating suicide.”
“Something had to be done. I spoke to the crew on the show. To my surprise, I was reassured that I wasn’t the only one going through it,” she wrote, according to The Sun.
“That other contestants had been visiting a therapist and psychologist as well. The day after, I was taken to London’s Harley Street for an assessment.”
“On a scale of one to 100, 100 being the worst, I scored 93. This was not good news. Proof, were it needed, of just how on the edge of suicide I was.”
Janet continued: “For months I’d put on a brave face for the cameras but the truth was, I was broken. No one around me even cared enough to ask if I was all right. So long as I was ready for the performance, that’s all that mattered.”
“After I was out, I was offered a place on the X Factor tour. I agreed. I’d hoped that this would be the end of the sadness.”
But after The X Factor tour ended, Janet’s life spiralled out of control as she started drinking heavily – which led to multiple suicide attempts.
Janet, who is now 25, first revealed her battle with alcoholism back in March of this year, by releasing a candid video about it on her YouTube channel.
Two months later, Janet opened up about her issues with alcohol during an appearance on ITV’s Loose Women.
Janet said she realised she had a “definite problem” with booze when she was 18.
When asked when she realised her issue with alcohol was serious, Janet replied: “Maybe the failed suicide attempts?”
Janet continued: “I don’t know the moment it got really dark… But I just woke up one day with a bottle of gin under my pillow, every day.”
“Before I went to work I would have a drink – it then went down hill for me.”
The singer said she never planned any of the attempts to take her own life, as it only happened after a night of boozing.
“To be honest, most of them were never planned, you know, it happened whenever I had too much to drink and access to sleeping medication, and I would mix the two together,” she admitted.
Janet also confessed her mother used to wait by the phone for bad news about her, and said: “I am so glad I am not causing her the same pain now.”
The Tyrone native has now been sober for five years, after she started attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings when she was 20.
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