Chrissy Teigen has opened up about a “brutal and mentally painful” couple of months.
Last month, the former model announced that she and her husband John Legend had sadly lost their baby boy Jack, just days after she was hospitalised due to excessive bleeding.
The 34-year-old has been candid about her grieving process on social media, and shared an update on how she was doing in an honest Instagram post on Friday.
Chrissy wrote: “when I’m old and grey, I will look back on the last two months as being brutal, exhausting, sad, physically challenging, mentally painful bitches of a couple months.”
“But I refuse to not find humour in both the rage-fits and the outfits.
“I already see the leaves as orange instead of grey, realised the sky is indeed blue and not black and horn honks on my forced morning walks only bring me to my knees half the time.
“I can make it up my stairs only stopping once or twice instead of every other, and can get out of the bathtub all by myself as long as I have the promise john will dry me off.
“Anyhow the point is, f*ck, I think it’s happening ❤️” she concluded the post.
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Earlier in the week, the mother-of-two admitted she’s been struggling with “grief depression”.
Taking to Twitter on Wednesday, Chrissy wrote: “I’m not tweeting much because I’m honestly in a bit of a grief depression hole but do not worry as I have so much help around me to get better and I’ll be fixed soon.”
“They’ll call when im better and ready for pickup and u can swing by and grab me ok? thank u and love you!”
I’m not tweeting much because I’m honestly in a bit of a grief depression hole but do not worry as I have so much help around me to get better and I’ll be fixed soon. they’ll call when im better and ready for pickup and u can swing by and grab me ok? thank u and love you!
— chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) November 25, 2020
Chrissy explained that she did not mean to cause offence by her terminology, tweeting: “I am in a very dark bubble and incapable of expressing what is happening and doing the best I can.
“I feel broken and all I know is the opposite is fixed – I know it isn’t that easy but it’s all I can think of at the moment. Did not mean to offend.”
In a devastating Instagram post, Chrissy announced the loss of her son Jack by sharing photos of her and John mourning in hospital.
She wrote: “We are shocked and in the kind of deep pain you only hear about, the kind of pain we’ve never felt before.”
“We were never able to stop the bleeding and give our baby the fluids he needed, despite bags and bags of blood transfusions. It just wasn’t enough.”
“We never decide on our babies’ names until the last possible moment after they’re born, just before we leave the hospital.”
“But we, for some reason, had started to call this little guy in my belly Jack. So he will always be Jack to us. Jack worked so hard to be a part of our little family, and he will be, forever.”
Chrissy continued: “To our Jack – I’m so sorry that the first few moments of your life were met with so many complications, that we couldn’t give you the home you needed to survive. We will always love you.”
“Thank you to everyone who has been sending us positive energy, thoughts and prayers. We feel all of your love and truly appreciate you.”
“We are so grateful for the life we have, for our wonderful babies Luna and Miles, for all the amazing things we’ve been able to experience.”
“But everyday can’t be full of sunshine. On this darkest of days, we will grieve, we will cry our eyes out. But we will hug and love each other harder and get through it,” she added.