New RTE reality star Alanna Diggin hopes her appearance on Connected will save lives.
The TV star, 21, lost her mum to cancer a decade ago – and two years ago her dad Kevin killed himself after becoming extremely depressed.
And Alanna – who admits she has only recently been able to deal with the sadness of his death – hopes people will see from her suicide isn’t an option.
She said: “With the camera I thought it would be therapeutic. When I am talking to people face-to-face I am not very emotional.
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“That was one of the reasons I wanted to do the show because my dad found it hard to express himself.
“I hope it shows people how those left behind after suicide feel and maybe makes people think twice about taking their lives because they won’t want their daughter or mother or brother to feel the way I do.”
But Alanna admits she does still feel a lot of anger at her father.
“For months on end, and probably now still, I was really angry at him and at myself as well because I could see him going on a downhill spiral,” she told the Mirror.
“And I was trying to get him help and get him to speak to people. But he wouldn’t because he is his own person and you can only do so much.”
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The Connected star also revealed she herself suffered from depression in the past and also had an eating disorder.
Alanna said she has also suffered from depression in the past and battled back from an eating disorder during college.
“I think it was a control thing, like an OCD thing where I used to have to count everything I ate and I would drive myself insane if I went over a certain amount.
“I was eating stuff but I was over exercising and I was down to size four clothing.
“I thought, ‘That’s not good’. And one day I decided to get help. I went through counselling for that and that helped me out.”
