2022 was a life-changing year for Brian Dowling and Arthur Gourounlian.
The couple are Goss.ie’s first Spotlight On cover stars of 2023 and in this interview, they chat about their surrogacy journey and the birth of their beautiful daughter Blake.
The new parents also discuss their goals for the new year, the highs and lows of life in the public eye, and tease some exciting new TV projects…
Brian and Arthur first met in a nightclub back in 2002, and they dated on-and-off for four years.
After splitting for some time, the couple rekindled their romance in 2011, and tied the knot at the lavish Powerscourt Hotel four years later.
After years of struggling to start a family, Brian and Arthur announced they were expecting their first child in May 2022, and that Brian’s sister Aoife was their surrogate.
On September 1, 2022, the couple became parents to a beautiful baby girl named Blake.
As well as an incredible year for them personally, Brian and Arthur both had a lot of success in their professional lives.
Brian, who shot to fame after winning the second series of Big Brother in 2001, landed presenting gigs on Ireland AM and The Six O’Clock Show.
Arthur, who is an Armenian-born professional dancer, landed a spot on the judging panel of RTÉ’s Dancing with the Stars – which is set to return to our screens later this month.
Check out our exclusive interview with Brian and Arthur below:
2022 was a very busy year for you both. What were the highlights of your year?Â
B: I’d say the highlight for both of us is the exact same, and that is the arrival of Blake on September 1. We’ve privately wanted a family for such a long time, and then for it to happen in the way that it did with my sister Aoife was just so special.
For the first six months, we had that secret for ourselves and our family. And looking back at how naive we were about it all… And then during the pregnancy we decided to film a documentary on our surrogacy journey for RTÉ, which will air late January/early February I think. And then Blake arrived, and it’s amazing that she’s turning four months old on New Year’s Day. I feel like any time I’m away from her for a few hours, she’s grown. She changes every day.
A: It’s surreal because on the 19th of December in 2021, we were doing the embryo transfer without knowing what the year ahead was going to be for us. So much has happened since then. Life is so unpredictable.
B: Wouldn’t it be so odd if I said, ‘The highlight of me year was my holiday!’ (laughs) No but seriously, anyone who struggles to have a family, I think you appreciate everything that little bit more. It’s not as easy as people think to have a family, and with the lack of legislation here [surrounding surrogacy] – which is changing in 2023 thank god. It’s going to help so many people. So I think another highlight for us was contributing to that.
We feel very proud because we chose to share our story and have had to deal with negative, nasty comments. But there are so many people here in Ireland who have been campaigning for this legislation for years and years, and they’ve worked so hard. So if we have contributed even 1% towards that in a positive way, we’re so proud of that.
I’ve had people tell me that they are helping their friend or brother or sister with surrogacy, and they’re not afraid to or embarrassed to do it. On the 30th of December, 2021, Aoife did four positive pregnancy tests. We then panicked because we were thinking, ‘Can we actually go to the hospital and have this baby in Ireland?’ We didn’t understand the lack of legislation, but also people’s opinions on it. Aoife being my sister and having my baby with my husband, it’s an odd situation to be in!
A: The thing with surrogacy is that you don’t know where to start or what to do. It was something very new for us because it’s something that isn’t really talked about. I’ve learned so much in the past year.
B: As much as it was a highlight, it was also probably one of the most challenging years of our lives. I’ve been through a lot with losing my mum and stuff, but 2022 was very challenging year for us as individuals and as a couple. It was also challenging for my family and for Aoife, but it was all worth it when Blake arrived.
A: We are very lucky as our first embryo transfer was a success. We are so, so blessed to have gotten it on the first try. Some people have to do that process many, many times so we just always pinch ourselves and think about how lucky we are. You forget the struggle you went through before and you just focus on the positive. It’s been an incredible year. We’re like the three musketeers and there’s never a dull moment in our house!
How has Aoife been since the birth?Â
B: She’s doing really well. Aoife is so strong, probably a lot stronger than I thought she was. She was so focused on having a healthy pregnancy. Aoife was more in charge of how everything worked than people think, and she was happy to stay behind the scenes.
She kept her pregnancy quiet when she was at work, and then she started showing and people started talking because she’s single. And she just took everything in her stride, even the horrible messages that we got. A C-section is a major operation, and she’s had to recover from that.
We have no issue with Aoife being so close to Blake, we want that unique relationship.
A: She always knew she was going to be Blake’s aunt and she’s going to be in her life forever. It wasn’t your typical surrogacy where you meet the surrogate in the beginning and then after 9 months, that’s it. We always knew Aoife was going to be a big part of the baby’s life, and she was always so prepared for that.
B: People are always like, ‘Oh she’s given away her baby.’ We used an egg donor, so it’s not her biological child. She’s always known she was just going to be the aunt. I know people think our situation is unusual, but it’s so normal to us and our family.
A: I sometimes forget she gave birth to our child, it’s so surreal. We’ve a very modern family.
B: She’s recovered wonderfully. I think people see Aoife as a superhuman woman. What she went through physically with her body, and carrying Blake to full term, and then passing Blake on to her parents. Everyone has so much respect for her.
Being public figures often comes with having to deal with negative comments online. Sadly, you have received some about your baby daughter. How do you handle that, and what would you say to someone who spends their time trolling people?
B: I recently got a message from someone who said, ‘It still saddens me and shocks me that you got so much abuse.’ And she was meant to be going to a garage that day to get a car, but she cancelled because the man that owns it was slagging me and Arthur off and saying how Blake needs a mother and not two dads. So she cancelled going to the garage, which I thought was amazing.
People seem to think that if you’re willing to put yourself out there on social media, you can be criticised. I see people online that I don’t like, but I don’t troll them. I don’t know why people think they have the write to comment something nasty just people we posted a reel of our daughter, who we are so happy to have and so proud of. People think, ‘Oh well they put themselves out there, they deserve criticism.’ No. The person who is criticizing, the problem is with them. And I think a lot of it stems from homophobia.
A: People say oh, they’re old school and they just don’t understand. That is not true. I know people who are 85 years old who are so humble and nice and understand everything. It’s all about education to be honest with you. Being part of the older generation has nothing to do with it. It’s how you educate your child.
B: I do snap back at trolls now. I’ll screenshot the ridiculous messages and put them up for fun. I think when you have a child, you’ve a duty to protect them. So I do snap back because I’m not taking it. And sometimes they’ll reply and be like, ‘Oh I’m so sorry, I misjudged you.’ Especially if you kill them with kindness.
A: You can’t make everybody love you. So we just go with the flow. We love our lives, we love what we do, and 99% of people are supportive of us. That 1% are always going to be there, and we’ll never change their minds.
B: I’ve been in this industry a long time, so I’m used to being trolled which is sad to say. I think anyone in the public eye is used to it now. It’s part of what you do which is really sad but coming in 2023, trolling it what you expect. If you put anything up, you are going to get trolled. That’s the world we live in. Sometimes you do have to talk about it when it’s really vile. Sometimes it just crosses a line.
There was one comment saying they hoped Aoife didn’t die of cancer from the hormones we were ‘forcing’ her to take. Stuff like that needs to be called out.
A: We just have to stay positive. I don’t give a s**t about what people have to say anymore. We just move on from it. So that 1% can f**k off basically. You always have to stay positive and don’t let them get you down.
Arthur, Dancing with the Stars is back in January. There have been some rumours that the upcoming season will be the final season of the show, is there any truth to those rumours?Â
A: When I signed up for my first season, everyone was saying ‘Oh this could be the last one.’ Because nobody knows the future of the show. There are rumours that this will be the last one and if so, that’s showbiz. But unless it’s been confirmed by the show, don’t believe anything.
I would love to stay on the show for the next few years, but life is unpredictable and you never know what is going to happen. Right now, I’m just so excited for my second season.
Brian, you’re a very popular presenter. Did you ever consider going for the hosting gig after Nicky Byrne stepped down?
B: You know what the funny thing is? They never even asked me for a screen test. Everyone was saying I was tipped for the job, and one of the bookies actually stopped taking bets on me because apparently it was so obviously I was going to get it. And I didn’t even get called for the screen test!
I don’t know if I should be insulted or flattered. It was an odd one because obviously I am a TV presenter and I’ve had great success, so it would’ve been nice to go in. But part of me also thinks with my husband on the judging panel and being such a big character, maybe if I got the opportunity to host it would’ve been a bit much for everyone.
I also hosted the official DWTS podcast with Lyra and Lottie Ryan and who knows, that might be coming back… Obviously I would’ve loved the hosting gig if I had the opportunity. But unfortunately I never got the call.
You told us your documentary on surrogacy is coming out in probably January. Would you like to let cameras into your life again at a later date to document your lives as new parents?Â
B: That is a conversation we had whilst filming the first documentary, would we be interested in doing some reality based thing on our family. We’re always open to something like that and there have been conversations about that, and whether it would be in Ireland or the UK. Our story is such a unique one because of my sister and stuff. So I think we definitely will.
I started in reality TV 21 years ago, I’ve done it a lot over the years. I think television now is all about good and organic reality TV. So I would say never say never.
A: When Brian’s mum passed away, his life changed so dramatically and now he’s like, life is too short, let’s just say yes to everything and see what happens.
Brian, you’ve been so open and honest about the sudden passing of your beloved mother, and you’ve paid tribute to her in many ways with your daughter. You recently celebrated Blake’s christening on your mum’s birthday…
B: Yes that was very important to me. I’m one of seven, and our mum was obsessed with family. She didn’t have a social life because we were her social life. She was always all about us.
When we lost her, she just went asleep. There was no accident, she wasn’t ill. You try to understand how someone who was so healthy could just go to sleep and not wake up? I was in LA at the time, and I spoke to her on the phone and said goodnight and that was it. She just passed away in her sleep, peacefully. She was only 61.
When you become a parent for the first time, you want your mum’s advice. I’m the eldest, I’m the only boy, and not having her here has been tough. When Blake was born, it was like oh mum’s not here. Blake only has one granny now and one grandfather – Arthur’s mum and my dad. But she has so much other support in the family.
When we found out we were having a girl, I was in charge of the name so I was like Blake for sure because then her initials are BBD like mine. And then her middle names are Maria Rose, Maria is Arthur’s mum and Rose after my mum. And then I decided to have her christening on mum’s birthday just to mark it so that we’d always remember the date and we can explain to Blake who her grandmother was.
I did the Death Becomes Him podcast for my mum. I was due to go back to recording it last year but when we were trying to get pregnant, I couldn’t put myself in that mindset talking about grief and death and loss and tragedy. When we had Blake, I found it very difficult to go back there. But we have decided we’re definitely doing a season five. There’s going to be seven episodes.
When you have a catastrophic trauma or loss, it changes you indefinitely. I’m just lucky that I can still function. I have a good life, but things are never the same again when you lose someone like that.
Blake will always know mum, even though she never met her. She’ll know her through the stories me, my sisters and Arthur tell. She’ll feel like she has Nanny Rosie around the whole time.
Have you any exciting plans/projects for the coming year?Â
B: There’s one or two things that I’m excited about, but I can’t talk about. I hope 2023 brings more opportunities. I never expected that I’d be living in Ireland with a child, and that she’ll be turning one in 2023. I never expected I’d get the opportunity to host Ireland AM or The Six O’Clock Show. It’s stuff you don’t expect that come you way.
We have a family holiday planned for 2023 and will be bringing Blake on a plane for the first time. There’s so many firsts. I also want to go back to the gym. I don’t think I’ve been in a gym since 2019. I’m turning 45 this year and I want to be fit and fabulous. Aging like fine wine. Thank god for every injectable there is!
A: We’re the type of people who always try to create new things that are just for us. I’m a do-er. In our world, you can’t just sit and not do anything. You have to thrive and try to create your own path. We would love to create a TV show or present something together, there’s always things in the pipeline.
