RTE star Louise McSharry has told how she is “tormented” by her need to lose weight – when she should be battling cancer.
The 2FM presenter said the only thing she can see in photos is “the flab on my arm, my double chin, and how wide I look”.
And Louise, who previously said she has always been a size 16 or over, has been left “angry” about her unhealthy relationship – especially after her appetite came back when chemotherapy started.
“I’ve been gaining weight ever since. To say that this has tormented me is an understatement,” she said.
Unhappy: Louise wishes she was skinnier | RTE
“One day recently, my fiance came home from work and found me in a manic state babbling about the fact that all I’d done all day was think about food, and it was true.
“It is so upsetting that gaining weight has had this affect on me, and that I have such issues around food. I am angry about it, because it really shouldn’t be this way.
“I shouldn’t be spending the biggest health battle of my life so far worrying about my appearance.”
Opening up, Louise said she hates herself for having “such a messed-up set of priorities” and “placing so much value on my shape and size”.
Now the radio presenter is trying to find a way to “change my value system to make my weight less of a priority”.
Hard to see: Louise – with her fiancee – can only see imperfections of her body
“I cried this morning looking at a photo someone posted on Facebook yesterday. It’s getting loads of likes and kind comments,” she wrote in Insider.
“It’s of my fiance and I dancing together at a wedding last weekend — I’m laughing and saying something to him and he’s smiling, having leaned down listen.
“All anyone else can see is how much we love each other, and all I could see was the flab on my arm, my double chin, and how wide I look. That is not the way I want to live my life.”
She added: “I don’t really know what the answer is yet, but I’m working on it. It’s going to take a while to undo the damage begun when I was put on my first diet at age seven.
“But I’m determined to get to a place where my weight is not more important than my health.”
