Ashley Cain has shared his heartache over planning his daughter Azaylia’s funeral.
On April 25, the reality star and his partner Safiyya announced the death of their eight-month-old baby – who had been battling a rare and aggressive form of leukemia.
Taking to Instagram on Thursday night, the 30-year-old told fans: “I always dreaded the first time I’d have to plan a funeral. But I never ever thought it would be my child’s funeral.”
“Nothing could ever have prepared me for this. Some days it breaks me and I can’t even bare to do it.”
“I always thought I was tough, but making decisions on how I’m going to bury my baby is enough to bring me to my knees every single time.”
“It’s hard to make sense of anything right now, especially why did it have to happen this way!” he added.
The news comes after Ashley revealed he smiled for the first time since his daughter’s death after receiving a “sign” from her.
Taking to Instagram on Tuesday, the 30-year-old shared a screenshot from his story earlier that day, after spotting a cloud in the sky behind him that resembled Azaylia’s face.
He wrote: “Someone sent me this screenshot today from my story when I was out running and I couldn’t believe it.”
View this post on Instagram
“I’m finding a lot of peace in the sky at the moment. From beaming orange sky’s at night, to clouds that form my daughters face in the day.”
“I’ve never paid too much attention to the sky, but now I look up to the heavens a lot to speak with my daughter, it’s like she’s showing me signs that she’s listening. 
”
“So many of you have told me that she will always be watching over me and over the past few days, I really believe it. 
LETS GO CHAMP – I LOVE YOU 
”
On this week’s episode of the Gosscast, Goss.ie Founder and CEO Alexandra Ryan joins Goss.ie Editor Kendra Becker to chat through the biggest stories of the week.
The girls chat about the “disappointing” Line of Duty finale, Maura Higgins’ split from Chris Taylor, and the major Hollywood movie being filmed in Wicklow right now.
You can also listen to the podcast on all usual platforms, including Spotify and iTunes.
