Lorde has revealed she’s been suffering with a mystery illness in a letter to her fans.
In her newsletter, the 26-year-old singer said she has stopped taking the medication she has been taking for over 11 years because she is trying to “listen to her body”.
The songstress wrote: “My body is really inflamed, it’s trying to tell me something and I’m trying to support it but nothing seems to help and I get frustrated.”
“My gut isn’t working properly, my skin is worse than ever, I’ve gotten sick half a dozen times. I realised earlier this year that listening to my body is hard for me, it’s something I never really learned how to do.”
“I’ve been trying to teach myself that this year, but it’s been hard actually, pretty confronting, has made me fully aware of all the times I ignored it or didn’t give it what it needed, shamed it for a fight or flight response, took a handful of pills and pushed through.”
“The little yellow pill I took every morning for thousands of mornings since I was 15, I stopped taking it five days ago. Gonna see how it goes,” Lorde added.
In addition to struggling with her health, the Yellow Flicker Beat singer revealed she is also dealing with heartbreak – hinting at a potential break-up from her boyfriend Justin Warren.
She wrote: “I’m living with heartbreak again. It’s different but the same. I ache all the time, I forget why and then remember.”
“I’m not trying to hide from the pain, I understand now that pain isn’t something to hide from, that there’s actually great beauty in moving with it.”
“But sometimes I’m sick of being with myself. I eat chocolate to try and manipulate the endorphins, bring back the sweet happiness of Easter morning. I sit in the time machine and wait for it to move, but it hasn’t been invented yet.”
Despite her woes, Lorde said that she is determined to look back on the year 2023 with “fondness.”
The Royals singer said: “I know I’m gonna look back on this year with fondness and a bit of awe, knowing it was the year that locked everything into place, the year that transitioned me from my childhood working decade to the one that comes next — one that even through all this, I’m so excited for. It’s just hard when you’re in it.”