Falling in love doesn’t have to be so complicated and famous psychologist Dr. Arthur Aron and his colleagues proved that.
The American professor conducted a study to highlight how people can fast forward the “getting to know one another” stage and skip straight to the deep and meaningful part.
The Love Doctor carried out the study by bringing a heterosexual man and a heterosexual woman together and giving them a list of 36 questions to ask one another, followed by four minutes of unbroken eye contact.
The test was a huge success and Dr. Arthur’s first pairing tied the knot just six months after taking part.
The 36 questions are divided into three sets and each level gets increasingly more personal and intimate.
Examples of the questions in each level are:
- Level 1- Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
- Level 2- If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
- Level 3- Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
According to the creator of the 36 questions they must be asked in order and without skipping any.
Although it may not result in an immediate marriage proposal, there is sure to be an undeniable connection forged between you.
Opening up to someone and allowing yourself to be vulnerable with them creates a sense of closeness and familiarity which are two key factors when falling in love.
Here is the full list of 36 questions for you to try out at home, you can do them with anyone not just someone you are trying to put a ring on!
The intimate questions can be asked to anyone you want to form a closer bond with.
Level 1
1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
Level 2
13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
17. What is your most treasured memory?
18. What is your most terrible memory?
19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
20. What does friendship mean to you?
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
Level 3
25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling …”
26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share …”
27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.
