Holly Hagan has revealed that she contemplated suicide after experiencing “disgusting” online abuse.
The 28-year-old shared an IGTV on Tuesday, where she opened up about receiving death threats after first appearing on Geordie Shore at the age of 18.
The reality star told her followers that she hoped by sharing her story, “people can see the damage” trolling can do and “maybe they’ll think twice”.
“This morning, I kind of found myself down a rabbit hole and I found a Facebook group that was made about me back in 2011,” Holly said.
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“Sum1 giv me a shovel so I can smash her in the face to make her look abit better” and “I wish this girl would just end it” This was just a couple of the comments left about me back in 2011. When I was 18 years old. From people I knew or knew of. Having stumbled across the only active Facebook page that was made about me back in 2011 (many others have been deleted) I discovered an entire world which I’d tried to forget about for the past 10 years. The end of this video contains every message left on that group. I’d be lying if I said opening up this wound again didn’t effect me. I’ve felt sick. This video has had no prep and is a little all over the place but it’s real. The point of this is so important. If people can just see the damage it can do then maybe they’ll think twice. If people who are going through the same thing can see I’ve made it to this point in my life that is so happy and amazing then maybe they’ll hold on through it knowing that it DOES GET BETTER! That 18 year old girl didn’t have a voice. But I do. World mental health day is coming up next week and @ditchthelabel are there to support anyone who may be going through a bad time. YOU ARE NOT ALONE ❤️
“This wasn’t the worst Facebook group but it was the only one that’s still active… What I found actually horrified me.
“I was actually really really in shock because when I was first getting grief on social media in 2011, I came off Facebook straight away – and it’s such a good job that I did because some of the things that I found today were actually really shocking and horrendous.”
Holly admitted she couldn’t leave the house for two years because of the abuse she received online: “I was scared for my life.”
“These are people that I know.. There’s 4,238 participants of this group and each one of them directly contributed to me not wanting to live at one point of my life.”
“For a lot of years I’ve had people say to me: ‘You chose to be on TV, you deal with the reaction’. But they chose to write on a public forum, so they can deal with the consequence of that.
“A lot of these people I’ve classed as friends at one point in my life,” Holly revealed – admitting some of the online abuse came from school friends and even parents of people she knew.
Holly then shared some of the horrific messages she had read on the Facebook page, which included death threats.
Thanking her friends who stuck by her through the difficult time, Holly admitted: “I owe them my life.”
“I know there’s people out there who are probably going through the same thing, and I know how it feels and I just wanted to say that there is support out there.
“Just know that if you’re ever in a situation similar to what I’ve been in, it gets better and I’m living proof of that.
“I just hope [the trolls] see this and they feel absolutely horrific about everything they’ve ever said… I hope that this is a lesson to anybody who’s going to go out of there way to say something so disgusting to somebody. Please stop.”
If you have been affected by anything in this article, please visit www.pieta.ie or call 1800 247 247.
On this week’s episode of #GossChats, Goss.ie Founder Alexandra Ryan chats to Jackie Fox – who lost her daughter Nicole to suicide after being cyber bullied.
Jackie talks about her fight to get Coco’s Law brought into legislation in Ireland – a new law that will make online bullying a criminal offence.
WARNING – episode contains discussion about self-harming and suicide. If this interview affects you in any way please contact Pieta House.
Please free call the Pieta House 24-hour helpline on 1800 247 247. You can also contact the helpline by text – text HELP to 51444.
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