Dame Barbara Windsor has been moved to a care home, after her dementia worsened during lockdown.
The actress, best known for her role as Peggy Mitchell in EastEnders, was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s six years ago – and made the news public in 2018.
Speaking to The Sun, her husband Scott Mitchell said he acted on the advice of her neurologist – but said it’s something he “never wanted”.
“I feel I’m on an emotional rollercoaster. I walk around, trying to keep busy, then burst in to tears. It feels like a bereavement,” he said.
“It’s always been my biggest fear that one day I would have to take her somewhere and she’d be thinking: ‘Why would he do this to me?’ That fear has become a reality. It’s something I never wanted.”
Recalling the day he left Barbara at the home, he said: “I’ll never forget the feeling of emptiness. I felt sick in the pit of my stomach that I’d left her. I still feel like that.”
“By the time I got home and went to bed, I just felt desperately sad. It’s been 27 years since we met and we spent so much of that time in each other’s company. It feels like another chapter has gone.”
The 57-year-old continued: “She still seems unsettled and, in her lucid moments, I can see she’s worked out this isn’t temporary.”
“She’s still thinking and saying I’ve let her down. Of course that’s a painful thing to hear, but I know it’s not the Barbara I know speaking.”
“And, let’s be honest, who else is she going to blame? I just have to smile and tell her I love her and everything I do is for her best wellbeing. I am no different to millions of other people who would have experienced this.”
On the latest episode of Goss Chats, Goss.ie CEO Ali Ryan chats to Alan Hughes about life during the coronavirus pandemic.
The TV presenter admits working on Ireland AM has been a “life saver” over the past few months, and opens up about his fears over the future of his Cheerios Panto.
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