Bonnie Ryan has made a heartbreaking confession about the loss of her late father Gerry.
The makeup artist was just 17-years-old when she suddenly lost her dad.
The popular presenter tragically passed away at the age of 53 on April 30, 2010 from cardiac arrhythmia – leaving the country in mourning.
Speaking exclusively to Goss.ie for our latest Spotlight On feature, Bonnie opened up about how she deals with the grief, nearly 14 years after her late father’s death.
The influencer told us: “I think that some people would think after 14 years you kind of have it figured out and you know how to deal with it and it’s just like a part of your life, and in one sense it is.”
“I was 17 when he passed away, so I don’t know my adult life with a dad, so to me this is normal. It’s normal not having a dad, and that’s just the way it is.”
“But then also, there’s times now as I’m getting older and things are happening in our lives, I’m like, God, it kind of hits you out of nowhere sometimes.”
“And I’m like, I wish that he got to know me as me now, because obviously he was in dad mode when he was around for me because I was still just a kid,” Bonnie continued. “And I’m like, I’d love for him to know me now.”
“Because even as I get older, I’m getting to know my mum on such a different level as well. We’re the best of friends and we do so much together, and she’s not just my mum anymore, she’s my friend.”
“And I think that obviously comes with age and I’m like, I would love that now, I would love to be able to do stuff with him as not just like your parent, but as your friend. And I think it’s just like learning to kind of allow yourself to miss somebody and be upset if you want to be upset.”
“Because I think as I first was going through grief, I kind of put on this front to everybody, like ‘I’m fine, I’m a tough cookie, I can get through anything’. And I never really showed my emotions. And I think as I’m getting older, I’m learning that if you don’t let out your emotions, they’re going to creep up in your life in different ways and it’s not good.”
