Lady Gaga has admitted that she “hated being famous” as she opened up about her battle with depression.
The singer revealed that she experienced suicidal thoughts “every day”, admitting she was her own worst enemy.
“My biggest enemy is ‘Lady Gaga’, that’s what I was thinking. My biggest enemy is her,” she told Lee Cowan on CBS Sunday Morning.
Speaking about her struggles with fame, she admitted: “You can’t go to the grocery store now. If you go to dinner with your family somebody comes to the table, you can’t have dinner with your family without it being about you, it’s always about you. All the time it’s about you.”
The 34-year-old opened up about a time “so dark” that she “totally gave up on [herself]”.
“I hated being famous, I hated being a star, I felt exhausted and used up.
“It’s not always easy if you have mental issues to let other people see. I used to show, I used to self-harm, I used to say, ‘Look I cut myself, see I’m hurting.’ Because I didn’t think anyone could see because mental health, it’s invisible.”
“I didn’t really understand why I should live other than to be there for my family,” she revealed, “That was an actual real thought and feeling, why should I stick around?
“I lived in this house while people watched me for a couple of years to make sure that I was safe.”
The popstar admitted that her unhappiness stemmed from being treated like an “object” rather than a person.
“If I’m at the grocery store and somebody comes up very close to me and puts a cellphone right in my face and starts taking pictures, just total panic, full-body pain. I’m braced because I’m so afraid.
“It’s like I’m an object, I’m not a person,” she added.
Lady Gaga admitted that her new album Chromatica, which details her struggles with mental health, helped her to find “a way to love [herself] again.”
“I don’t hate Lady Gaga anymore. Now I look at this piano and I go, ‘Ugh, my god, my piano, my piano that I love so much.
“My piano, that lets me speak, my piano that lets me make poetry. My piano that’s mine.’”
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