Chrissy Teigen has defended her decision to share heartbreaking photos from the hospital, after losing her baby son.
Earlier this month, Chrissy and her husband John Legend announced the loss of their baby boy, who they named Jack, just days after she was hospitalised due to excessive bleeding.
In a devastating Instagram post, the 34-year-old shared intimate photos of her and John mourning the loss of their son in hospital – but some people criticised the model for sharing such personal images on social media.
In an emotional essay published on Tuesday, Chrissy defended her decision by writing: “I cannot express how little I care that you hate the photos. How little I care that it’s something you wouldn’t have done.”
“I lived it, I chose to do it, and more than anything, these photos aren’t for anyone but the people who have lived this or are curious enough to wonder what something like this is like.
“These photos are only for the people who need them. The thoughts of others do not matter to me,” she continued.
“I had asked my mom and John to take pictures, no matter how uncomfortable it was. I explained to a very hesitant John that I needed them, and that I did NOT want to have to ever ask.
“That he just had to do it. He hated it. I could tell. It didn’t make sense to him at the time. But I knew I needed to know of this moment forever, the same way I needed to remember us kissing at the end of the aisle, the same way I needed to remember our tears of joy after Luna and Miles.
“And I absolutely knew I needed to share this story.”
Chrissy described the “incredibly deep sadness” she felt after the doctor told her it was time to say goodbye to her baby, and wrote: “Even as I write this now, I can feel the pain all over again.”
“People say an experience like this creates a hole in your heart. A hole was certainly made, but it was filled with the love of something I loved so much. It doesn’t feel empty, this space. It feels full.”
“I feel bad our grief was so public because I made the joy so public. I was excited to share our news with the world. Stories leading up to this had been chronicled for all.
“It’s hard to look at them now. I was so positive it would be okay. I feel bad that I made you all feel bad. I always will.”
Chrissy pleaded with her fans: “I beg you to please share your stories and to please be kind to those pouring their hearts out. Be kind in general, as some won’t pour them out at all.
“These strangers always tell me that life will move on, just differently. They tell me to not let anyone tell me this was ‘God’s plan’, or that we will ‘have another soon’. Thanks to you, I will block this out forever.
“I worry that people feel uncomfortable sharing their joy with me. I’m currently surrounded by the pregnant bellies of many close friends, and I can swear to you, nothing makes me more happy. I know your joy and I love you.”
“I wrote this because I knew for me I needed to say something before I could move on from this and return back to life, so I truly thank you for allowing me to do so.
“Jack will always be loved, explained to our kids as existing in the wind and trees and the butterflies they see. Thank you so much to every single person who has had us in their thoughts or gone as far as to send us your love and stories. We are so incredibly lucky.”
Signing off, she wrote: “With so, so, so much love, Chrissy.”