When it comes to dating, we can sometimes ignore the red flags that are right in front of us from the very beginning.
Bumble‘s sex and relationship expert Dr. Caroline West has revealed some the biggest red flags to look out for when looking for love, as well as some green and orange flags.
She told Goss.ie: “When it comes to red flags, we sometimes tend to minimise what is going on, give people the benefit of the doubt, or make excuses for them.”
“Our gut feeling will tell us that red flags include feeling on edge, as if we are walking on eggshells. We might feel anxious, or nervous about an argument starting.”
“The general behaviour will include not being supportive, being secretive, critical, or dismissive. They have issues with respecting the pace that the other person wants to go at, refuse to openly discuss consent or contraception, and cheats,” Dr. Caroline explained.
“Others outside the relationship tend to take a more black and white view, as it can be easier to see the red flag when you are not emotionally involved.”
And what about orange flags? Dr. Caroline told us: “While orange flags are less of a concern than red flags, they are still something to keep an eye out for.”
“You and your match could be getting along well with only green flags throughout the relationship and then all of a sudden, they could make a comment that could upset you. This may not be a breaking point but it is an orange flag that needs to be noted.”
“Most of the time, orange flags can iron themselves out through open communication and being honest with each other. If the communication breaks down, then it might be time to reconsider the match.”
“People will not be perfect, we are all learning all the time when it comes to relationships, so mistakes can happen and we will end up hurting our partners accidently. However, what is important is that when this does happen, we communicate, hear why our partner is upset, give a genuine apology, and work to make sure it does not happen again.”
Dr. Caroline also revealed the signs of a healthy relationship, or “green flags”.
She said: “In a healthy relationship, we will feel secure, happy, trusted and we have the freedom to be vulnerable.”
“When it comes to general behaviour, healthy relationships involve supporting each other to be independent and successful, as well as maintaining friendships and hobbies, having a fair and equal perspective in terms of life admin, paying bills, etc. and an openness to work on issues.”
And finally, how can you spot red or green flags when dating online?
Dr. Caroline explained: “A fully filled out dating profile indicates someone’s intentions to be committed to finding a partner. Using Bumble‘s interest badges, uploading recent images and vocal prompts all help in forming a holistic picture about someone’s character.”
“A green flag to look for is variety in their profile – pictures with friends, family members and even pets help you determine their personality traits. Pictures of them travelling with friends shows that they’re sociable and adventurous.”
“A red flag that may come up with dating or using Bumble would be if someone talks to you in a way that makes you uncomfortable or unhappy. People on Bumble have access to the block and report features along with the Bumble safety centre to keep you safe when dating.”
