Spencer Matthews has revealed the secret to his happy marriage with wife Vogue Williams.
The TV star is currently on tour with his other half for their hit podcast Spencer and Vogue, and admitted that one thing ensures that their relationship with last the test of time.
“The secret to happiness in a marriage is communication for me,” he told Goss.ie.
“I think it’s easy when you’ve got two really big characters to naturally assume that you’re right. So Vogue has that and I have that,” he admitted.
“When two people think they’re right in a conversation then obviously no one is listening. You’re making a point, the other person is making a different, you end up in a place where actually no one is listening,”he explained.
“Whereas if you listen to each other, and take on board how the other person is feeling, then ordinarily you can avoid the kind of build-up which causes the fight in the first place,” he added.
Spencer, 35, revealed that he is a huge fan of therapy and that he goes to his therapist “even when I feel phenomenal when you feel great, you can really build and grow on things when you’re not in there for advice because you feel a certain way.”
And the Made in Chelsea alum practices what he preaches, as he admitted his therapist has given him the tools to work on his marriage with Dubliner Vogue, whom he wed in 2018.
“(My therapist) gave me the best advice, and I’ll share it with Goss.ie. He said if you live with your husband or wife and you feel frustrated from time to time, as all married couples do, spend five minutes each, once a week, explaining to the other person what it’s like to live with them.”
“Don’t be really nasty, just be honest. For example ‘when you did this, I felt this way’. And the other person isn’t allowed to retort at all. Even afterwards you can’t retort. You have to just listen, and you both do it, and both hear each other, and then you leave,” he explained.
While it seems to many that the pair are constantly together for work, given they record a weekly podcast, Spencer admitted the couple are often apart during the week, and that has made them stronger.
“We work a lot outside of what we do with each other as well,” he admitted.
“We’re usually quite tightly sprung, but we both like that. We’re both so busy so when we come together to do the pod it sometimes feels like a date, which is quite nice.”
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“When we do each other’s weeks on the pod we actually don’t talk to each other about it outside of the pod, so we get to know each other in the pod studio and it’s good fun,” he added.
When asked how the pair handle recording their podcast together after having a spat, Spencer said: “Well some of the shows we are arguing, we are mid fight and we record anyway. We’re professionals.”
“We’ll turn up and just do the podcast. But it would be very rare that we would be having a very serious fight anyway.”
The father-of-three admitted that he has heard comments that their podcast is very much focused on Vogue “ripping into” him, but said it’s not that way at home.
“It’s not like that at home, I’m not nailed hell for leather. I kill Jamie (Laing) on our podcast, she kills me on ours, it’s all even,” he laughed.
You can listen to the Spencer and Vogue podcast on all podcast channels.
