Kate Ferdinand has opened up about the biggest difficulty of being a step-mum to her husband Rio Ferdinand’s kids.
The reality star met the footballer after his first wife Rebecca Ellison had passed away, and he was raising three young kids.
This beginning of their relationship built a strong foundation for the couple, but she admitted that “comparison is a killer”.
The mother-of-five opened up about the difficulties in the early days and how she overcame them on Blended.
In a video of her getting ready for a night out with Rio, Kate said: “Comparison is a killer. They say comparison is a thief of joy, and I really do think it is.”
“Now, I just wanna say it from my perspective, ’cause when I met Rio, his wife had passed away. And I felt like I was continually compared, and I also then started comparing myself.”
“I just had this like moment one day thinking, “What on earth am I doing? I’m not happy. I’m not being the best version of myself” because I need to be, like, authentically me to be able to just live my life properly,” she continued.
Kate told her husband she felt like she was living in someone’s shadow on her wedding day.
“We got married and there was a picture on the online websites of me and Rio on our wedding day next to you and Rebecca on the wedding day.”
“I constantly feel compared to. It’s constant and that used to really, really affect me. But now I’ve got to a stage where I feel confident in myself that our families in our tight-knit, you know, seven of us know that that it isn’t a comparison.”
“Rebecca can be Rebecca and I can be me, and we can both be great and the kids can will forever love their mum,” she added.
Kate recognised that Lorenz, Tate and Tia will always consider Rebecca as their mum.
She continued: “She is, of course, their number one motherly figure. But I am here, and I’m here to look after them and love them, and that’s OK.”
“I feel like for me as a step-mum; the kids have lost their mum. I really wanna know about certain things, as in what their mum done with them, because I wanna be able to help them and understand that. But there’s also a fine I say to Rio.”
“Sometimes I feel like I’ve got this whole load of information and like a a mind full of like his old life, which is really helpful when it comes to the kids. But maybe if I’m not meant in the right place, knowing loads of stuff about Rio and his previous partner might not be helpful.’ she said.”
Kate added: “Everyone’s got their strengths and everyone’s got their weaknesses. I might be great at something and terrible at something else, and that’s OK. We’re not all perfect. And I think the the minute that you understand that and your family understand that, then that’s the minute that the comparison doesn’t affect you as much.”
“Now I’m not gonna say it’s completely perfect. Sometimes it does still affect me, and I do struggle with certain things. But I feel in a much better headspace because I know that I am enough and I’m not perfect and no one’s perfect. So that’s OK.”
Rio’s first wife Rebecca passed away from cancer in 2015.
