TV3 star Ursula Halligan has revealed that she is gay, and will be voting yes at the upcoming marriage equality referendum.
The well-known journalist admitted that she struggled with her sexuality as a teenager, and pretended she was straight.
Recounting a diary entry she wrote at 17, Ursula wrote:
“There have been times when I have even thought about death, of escaping from this world, of sleeping untouched by no-one forever. I have been so depressed, so sad and so confused.”
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“There seems to be no one I can turn to, not even God.”
Writing in the Irish Times Ursula added that she thought her feelings were wrong.
“I loved a girl and I knew that what wasn’t right; my mind was constantly plagued with the fear that I was a lesbian,” she admitted.
“I hated myself. I felt useless and worthless and very small and stupid. I had one option, and only one option. I would be “normal”, and that meant locking myself in the closet and throwing away the key.”
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“For years I told no one because I couldn’t even tell myself. It was a place I didn’t want to go. It was too scary; too shameful. I couldn’t cope with it. I buried it,” she explained.
“Emotionally, I have been in a prison since the age of 17; a prison where I lived a half-life, repressing an essential part of my humanity, the expression of my deepest self; my instinct to love.”
Promoting the yes vote at the upcoming marriage equality referendum, Ursula said the vote pushed her to come out.
“The game-changer was the marriage equality referendum. It pointed me toward the first option: telling the truth to anyone who cares.”
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“And I knew if I was going to tell the truth, I had to tell the whole truth and reveal my backing for a Yes vote. For me, the two are intrinsically linked.”
“If Ireland votes Yes, it will be about much more than marriage. It will end institutional homophobia,” she continued.
“It will say to gay people that they belong, that it’s safe to surface and live fully human, loving lives. If it’s true that 10 per cent of any population are gay, then there could be 400,000 gay people out there; many of them still living in emotional prisons.”
