Cara Delevingne has opened up about suffering a mental breakdown when she was just a teenager.
The striking model has been pretty open about her battle with depression in the past – and admitted that she first noticed that she was struggling when she was around 16-years-old, when she realised how sick her mum, Pandora, was.
Pandora was a manic depressive, and suffered from extreme addictions to heroin and prescription medication, causing her to spend a lot of time away from her children – which ultimately caused Cara to have a mental breakdown.
“I was suicidal. I couldn’t deal with it any more. I realised how lucky and privileged I was, but all I wanted to do was die. I felt so guilty because of that and hated myself because of that, and then it’s a cycle. I didn’t want to exist anymore. I wanted for each molecule of my body to disintegrate. I wanted to die,” she told Esquire magazine.
Scary: Cara went through a tough time as a teen | INSTAGRAM
The actress also admitted that she used to smack her head against hard surfaces, and scratch her legs until they bled to try and escape the emotional pain she was going through.
“I would run off to the woods and smoke a pack of cigarettes and then I would smash my head so hard into a tree because I just wanted to knock myself out.
“I never cut myself. But again, like, at that point I would scratch my legs till they bled,” she said.
Never again: Cara hated how medication made her feel | INSTAGRAM
After contemplating suicide as a teen, Cara was put on a number of different prescription drugs for her depression, but ended up binning them at 18-years-old because she couldn’t feel anything.
“I hate meds. I think they saved my life and they’ve probably saved my mother’s life but I don’t agree with them. It’s so easy to abuse them.
Speaking about the day she stopped taking her meds, she said, “And that week, I lost my virginity, I got into fights, I cried, I laughed. It was the best thing in the world to feel things again. And I get depressed still but I would rather learn to figure it out myself rather be dependant on meds, ever.”
