Sarah Harding has shared her heartache over not being able to have children.
The Girls Aloud was diagnosed with advanced breast cancer last year, but the cancer in her body has sadly spread, and she was told by doctors that Christmas 2020 would “probably” be her last.
In her new book Hear Me Out, which was released today, the singer said one of the “sad thoughts” she’d been having was “the idea that I’ll never have children”.
The 39-year-old wrote: “That one came to me the other day when I was talking to Cheryl on the phone. I was saying how we never thought Nadine [Coyle] would be the first one of us to have a child, and that now three of them have kids.”
“It might seem odd to worry about not having children when I don’t even know how much of a life I have left, but it’s there.”
“The truth is, even if my prognosis was better, it still wouldn’t be on the cards because of all the chemotherapy I’ve had.”
“That treatment, harsh as it is, will have killed any chance I might have had. It’s making me cry just thinking about it.”
Sarah also opened up about her split from ex-fiancé Tom Crane, writing: “I’ve never stopped blaming myself.”
“Losing him was one of the biggest mistakes of my life, but we just couldn’t seem to find a way through the impasse.”
In another excerpt from her biography, Sarah wrote: “In December my doctor told me that the upcoming Christmas would probably be my last.”
“I’m trying to live and enjoy every second of my life, no matter how long it may be. I’m at the stage now where I don’t know how many months I have left. Who knows, maybe I’ll surprise everyone.”
“Right now I am trying to find joy whenever and however I can. Life has got so much smaller and my priorities have changed, but the other Sarah Harding is still in there somewhere too.”
