Louise Thompson has updated her fans with a lengthy post after undergoing emergency surgery.
Earlier this week, the 32-year-old told fans that she was in hospital following an “unexpected medical situation”.
Her fiancé Ryan Libbey later revealed she required emergency surgery after she “haemorrhaged” at home.
Taking to Instagram on Saturday morning, Louise shared a lengthy post updating her 1.4 million followers on her health battle.
Sharing a video of her, Ryan and their son Leo “burning bad memories”, the former Made In Chelsea star wrote: “Gosh the last few days have been a rollercoaster. From thinking I was going to die again, to being allowed home all in the space of a few days. What a whirlwind.”
“Not sure “I’m quite ready to digest it to be honest. Emergency scenarios are a WILD RIDE. You get NO prep time. It’s just bam, zero to hero in a matter of minutes… or hours if you’re lucky.”
“It does strange things to your mind. The emotions are mental, from an adrenalin fuelled ambulance phone call, to freeze (what I think might help, but obviously does nothing to prevent blood flow/loss), to laughter, to tears, to anger, to shouting, to apologising, to guilt. Powerful stuff. Just when I was doing really well too.”
The mum-of-one continued: “Anyway, I don’t wanna get too dark and dirty today. I am manning up and am going to try my hardest NOT to wallow in self pity. The thing about having kids (and a family you love and care about) is that you don’t really have time to collapse into a heap and start processing.”
“You have to put on your big girl pants, and be strong, which is hard when you crave being nurtured like a child yourself… Actually the fact I’m even saying this is a good thing.”
I recognise the privileged position I am in today. I have learnt from experience (invaluable). I am stronger. When I left hospital last time I absolutely did NOT wear my big girl pants, instead I had a phobia of my cupboards and drawers and had to wear the same style of massive pants for months on end… and I was stuck on the sofa, I’m surprised I didn’t actually get glued to it, like those people that have to get fork truck lifted out of their house because they’ve meshed.”
“I was weak and I couldn’t hide the pain from anyone before. I couldn’t brush things under the carpet. Now my brain is playing ball.”
Louise penned: “Something that WAS really challenging about coming home was seeing little Leo. Obviously this was the thing I was most excited about. I have to be careful with my body and rest rest rest, but all I want to do is scoop him up.”
“We’ve developed this solid bond (to the point where he finds comfort in nuzzling in and resting on my chest and he’d rather be there than on other people and he gets teary when he has to leave, phew), and I think about him all the time, but since being away for a few days it’s like he doesn’t recognise me. I’m sure I have a tendency to exaggerate, but here I am NOT exaggerating.”
”He burst into uncontrollable tears when I came back home and didn’t want to come near me or sit on the sofa next to me,” the mum-of-one heartbreakingly penned. “He literally had an angry, furrowed brow look every time he looked at me. As you can imagine this made me sob a lot and feel really confused which made matters worse. It was one emotional spiral.”
“When I was in hospital one of the things that kept me going was hearing that he’d been saying ‘mammmamamamamam’ around the house when I was away, whilst looking for me. Gosh it breaks my heart just thinking about that 😢.”
Louise continued: “I don’t know how people go away without their kids, the guilt I felt just being in hospital for a few days, which I accept wasn’t a choice, was unreal. I actually really want to get to a place where I can go away guilt free and take a bit of a break.”
“But I’m not there yet, I still need to work on breaking free from my ruminating thoughts… and I’m not sure I’ve accepted that life will be long enough to spend casual weeks apart that don’t have significant long lasting impacts on either party.”
“It made me feel really awful that he didn’t want to be with me, only his dad, but at the same time I’m glad he’s comfortable with one of us right now.”
“Anyway, things have settled down a little and we’ve decided to do a burning ritual, hence this weird video, LOL.”
Louise continued: It’s really strange, but I’ve been physically ok(ish) for months and months, and then BAM something really bad happened to my body again. I lost a lot a lot of blood. I think around 3L which sounds like over half my body’s supply… although I have to bear in mind I’m also really small.”
“Anyway, that morning of the curious incident, Ryan put on a shirt and he questioned whether he should put it on. The last time he wore it a bad thing happened. He didn’t tell me this until we were all in hospital and he had to remove it in A&E. He is so freaked out by it now.”
“Anyway, it’s on the burn pile. We’re burning some bad s**t right now and even Leo is waving ‘bye bye’ to it. We’ve taught him to wave bye 👋🏼.”
“I’m not going to let this hold me back. I’ve learnt a lot from the last year and I feel in a much sounder headspace than last year so fingers crossed. I’m a bit scared to leave the house (or sometimes even stand up) so slowly slowly and I will have lots of time bored at home so pop me a message.”
The former Made In Chelsea star penned: “I did have all the typical weird trauma responses in hospital, floods of hysterical tears, catastrophic death feelings, hysterical laughter, confusion as to what had happened, how was I back here again?”
“I must be making some bad life choices or be a terrible person that deserved this to happen? What can I change? Is it spiritual? Am I a shit parent? etc. etc. I couldn’t stop saying i’m sorry, i’m sorry to every medical professional I came across. I’m not entirely sure what my motivation was? But here we go again.”
“I have to say, I am one damn strong cookie. And I have to hold on to the fact that our bodies are remarkable and can heal from such extraordinarily brutal things. I can and I will heal from this.”
“From feeling all my limbs go cold as my blood tries to protect my vital organs, to shutting off my entire pain response as I had 4x canulas jabbed into my arms at the same time in Rhesus, wow, what a trip.”
Louise concluded: “Thanks doctors + medicine and those dedicated to those improving medicine and science’y stuff for keeping me alive.”
“And thanks to god and prayer for keeping me on this planet for another whirl. 🙏🏼🤍.”
Louise’s sister-in-law Zara McDermott commented on the post: “You’ve done so well already. ❤️ Leo was saying mumamamama 🤍 onwards & upwards from here, every day is a new step and a new part of your journey. Remember.. nothing ever stays the same for long (my life motto !) 💕.”
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