Home Music Louis Tomlinson opens up about the ‘dark’ times of losing his mother...

Louis Tomlinson opens up about the ‘dark’ times of losing his mother and sister

The singer opened up about the strength their deaths have given him


Louis Tomlinson has opened up about the “dark” time when he lost his mother and sister.

Tomlinson’s mother Johannah Deakin died in 2016 after a battle with Leukaemia.

Sister, 18-year-old Félicité Tomlinson passed away in March this year. It was confirmed earlier this month that her cause of death was an overdose.

Speaking in an interview with The Guardian, Tomlinson spoke of how his grief “fuels” him.

Days after his mother’s death, Louis preformed his first solo single, Just Hold On, on The X-Factor.

Since then, his single releases have been sporadic. Unlike his fellow One Direction stars, Louis never released a solo album.


“After I lost my mum, every song I wrote felt, not pathetic, but that it lacked true meaning to me,”

“I felt that, as a songwriter, I wasn’t going to move on until I’d written a song like that.”

Just days before Felicite’s death, Tomlinson released a poignant musical dedication to his mother titled Two Of Us.

Tomlinson opened up about the “darkest sh*t” that he went through, saying it gives him strength elsewhere in his life.

“That whole dark side I’ve gone through, it sounds stupid to say, but it gives me strength everywhere else in my life, because that’s the darkest sh*t that I’m going to have to deal with.”

“So it makes everything else, not feel easier and not less important, but, in the grand scheme of things, you see things for what they are, I suppose.”


“There’s no time for me to be sat feeling sorry for myself,” he says.

“I’ve been to rock bottom and I feel like, whatever my career’s going to throw in front of me, it’s going to be nothing as big or as emotionally heavy as that.”

“So, weirdly, I’ve turned something that’s really dark into something that empowers me, makes me stronger.”

“I don’t want people to feel sorry for me. That’s not how I feel for myself. Somehow it fuels me.”