Liam Payne has admitted that becoming a dad at a young age “messed” him up.
The former One Direction star welcomed his first child, a son named Bear, with his now ex-girlfriend Cheryl back in 2017 – when he was just 23-years-old.
During a candid interview for Sky One documentary Ant Middleton & Liam Payne: Straight Talking, the singer said: “Becoming a dad at such a young age, it’s such a difficult thing.”
“And I think I built fatherhood up so much in my head that it kind of messed me to up start with. I started in a bad place with it.”
“I think it spooked me out early on, and I was just worried I would not be enough to look after the both of them,” Liam explained.
Speaking about his relationship with Cheryl now, over one year after their split, Liam said: “Even though we’re not together, Cheryl’s always there for me.”
“I’m lucky I have someone who understands what I’m going through.”
“The one thing I was missing as a man in the relationship I had, was a level understanding about what she was feeling about stuff.”
During the same interview, Liam said he feels “quite lucky” to be alive, after fame “nearly killed” him multiple times.
The singer rose to fame when he was just 16-years-old, when he became a part of One Direction on The X Factor back in 2010.
He said: For some certain circumstances I’m quite lucky to be here still. There are times when that level of loneliness and people getting into you every day, it’s like, ‘When will this end?’ That’s almost nearly killed me a couple of times.”
When asked if he’s ever considered acting on those thoughts, Liam said: “Yeah, when I’ve been in a bad place.”
“It’s one hundred per cent, you know? There’s no point denying it – it’s definitely been on the menu a couple of times in my life.”
On how he’s dealt with those feelings, Liam said: “There’s only one thing you control within that situation and that is you. Just do today.”
“Get on with that bit and then there’ll be another hurdle in a few months, a few weeks or maybe even the next day.”
He added: “Putting that happy smile on my face and singing the songs — sometimes it was like putting on one of those costumes and, underneath the costume, people don’t really see what’s going on.”