Thalia Heffernan has opened up about dealing with depression and her “unhealthy” associations with food in a candid new interview.
The Irish model took to Instagram today to share her cover photo on the Sunday Independent’s Life Magazine, in which she opened up about her life pre-pandemic.
She told the publication: “I was living out of a suitcase, on planes, trains, cars. I barely slept, barely got time to see my family, [my boyfriend] Ryan, my dogs.”
“I felt that I was living for the next job, but not actually living at all. But my own life was kind of falling into the trenches at the other end of it. I was just exhausted.”
“I worked myself to the bone. I’d lost so much weight from stress that my doctor had to stop me and say, ‘Woah, what’s happening here?’”
View this post on Instagram
“Lockdown was kind of — I hate to say it — a blessing for me. It stopped me in my tracks,” the Dublin native admitted.
“The only will I had was to keep going. I didn’t have a will to enjoy what I was doing. I would look forward to maybe seeing my friends, but even that was a rarity, because I was working too much.”
“I put my job and making money first, because when you’re self-employed, the bills don’t stop when the jobs stop.”
Thalia revealed she started seeing a therapist before the pandemic to deal with her depression.
View this post on Instagram
The 25-year-old said: “For me, depression is kind of like a virus that I live with. I can have no experience of it for months on end, and then it’ll hit me for absolutely no reason.”
“Living with that, it’s scary, because you don’t know when the next time is going to come. But at the minute, I’m doing much better.”
“I don’t know if I was just quite a moody teenager. I think my first real experience was after I went to Australia, when I was 19. That’s when I was diagnosed; that’s when I could finally make sense of my mind.”
“Even if you couldn’t make sense of it, it was like, ‘Well, if you put a label on it, then I guess it’s easier to deal with’. As opposed to just being like, ‘Well, I’m crazy, and I don’t know what to do with it’.”
Picture Brian McEvoy
“Before lockdown, I would have said I wasn’t very qualified to deal with my emotions. But since lockdown, I’m able to assess things slowly, I don’t have to deal with them instantly.”
Thalia eased herself off antidepressants over the lockdown, telling the publication: “I’m glad I did… I completely think that [antidepressants] are brilliant, and necessary in certain circumstances.”
“But I was on them because in therapy I was dealing with things that were causing me to get back into that fight-or-flight model. And now I’m not dealing with those things as much, because I’ve slowed down.”
“I remember the first time that I felt depressed, that feeling of complete loneliness. It’s kind of like starting to speak a different language to someone who doesn’t understand you… It takes a lot to be strong enough to go [to your GP] and say ‘I need help’.”
Opening up about her issues with food, Thalia said: “I haven’t had an eating disorder, but I have got an association with food that isn’t healthy.”
“It’s kind of like when you get a cold, you’re more susceptible to get a flu. That’s how I feel depression manifests itself in me. When it has that hold on me, other things are easier to take on.”
“I’ll go to work and people will be like, ‘You look amazing’. It’s the same thing that everyone gets; when you lose weight, people tell you that you look amazing.”
“That’s society talking through them. That the thinner you are, the better you are. Which is complete bulls***.”
Thalia admitted she “struggled mentally” after being told in the past to change her appearance for modelling jobs.
“When I was younger, I didn’t know how to say no. I was just like, ‘Yeah, OK, that’s what I have to do’. And it definitely scarred me mentally, because I still have that little trigger with food.”
“That little trigger of, are you going to go into that meeting and someone will say, ‘Oh yeah, you’ve got something, but you need to work on your waist, or your hips, or your bust’.”
“I’ve grown up a lot. And I can say no now. That’s the hardest thing I’ve had to deal with in my life, knowing my own worth. It is as important as learning to walk and to talk. And I didn’t for so long.”
“You will find yourself in situations where you’re out of control because people who need control feed on those who don’t have it.”
“I’ve had so many experiences where, in hindsight, if I had said no, and walked away, I’d be a better person for it.”
Commenting on Thalia’s Instagram post, one fan wrote: “Thank you so much for sharing your story with Life today. A lot of people will relate to what you’ve said x”
Another commented: “What a gorgeous interview and photos!! So proud of you and excited for your journey ❤️.”
On this week’s episode of The Gosscast, Goss.ie Founder and CEO Alexandra Ryan sits down with Goss.ie Editor Kendra Becker to chat about all the celeb couples who rekindled in their romances.
To celebrate the reunion of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez, the girls are taking a walk down memory lane, from discussing the “break” Prince William and Kate Middleton took to the drama that was Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez.
You can also listen to the podcast on all usual platforms, including Spotify and iTunes.
