Niamh Cullen has revealed this past year “has been the worst” of her life.
The Irish influencer took to her Instagram Stories on Monday evening to open up about the struggles she’s faced over the past 18 months, admitting she hit “rock bottom”.
She wrote: “Trigger warning! I am to talk through my experience of the past year. There is talk around sadness and feeling depressed.”
“I can’t go into detail or talk about some stuff, but I also know there is so many worse off than me and I’m truly not looking for attention on this. I just want to share my experience as I know a lot of you are wondering what has been going on with me the past 18 months.”
“I’m still feeling a little vulnerable and sensitive so like the way it goes – if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all,” she asked.
In a video, Niamh told her followers: “This year was very, very tough… The lowest of the low was this year.”
“Yes influencing is my full-time job, but to say that right now I feel so embarrassed because this year has been a shambles. Everything that I had planned was either taken away from me or on pause because this was going on.”
“I was faced with this heavy, heavy baggage every day, this toxic situation, legal fees, like next level stress.”
Becoming visibly emotional, Niamh explained: “When I started influencing, I had a plan. I did my PT course, I had a business plan. When I say I’m embarrassed… I turned 30 in March and I had this plan, I invested money and time.”
“And to see all your friends around you, like my friends in the industry like Louise [Cooney], Rosie [Connolly] and Aideen [Kate] – they’re all thriving with their businesses. And I had a plan, and invested money…”
“So I just feel really embarrassed because this year has been – from a financial standpoint, from a career standpoint, and from a mental health standpoint – the worst year of my life.”
“To think that you could be in debt, to invest so much of your time and energy, to invest some life savings, and to see nothing from it… I was going through such a bad stage that it sent me into a depression. It sent me into a really dark place.”
The 30-year-old, who is a fitness fanatic, explained that she had planned on launching her own gym wear brand.
She said through tears: “I put everything into it behind closed doors and look, things happen for a reason and it wasn’t meant to be but what it did to my mental health and the stress that it put on me, I just hope I never go through it again.”
“When I say I couldn’t leave the house for days, I wouldn’t eat during the day and I’d emotional binge at night, I couldn’t go to the gym… I couldn’t do anything. I felt physically sick every single day.”
“I was depressed, I was sad every day, I would wake up in the depths of despair every single day.”
Pic Brian McEvoy
Niamh, who revealed she now goes to therapy weekly, added: “I really do love what I do and really want to press the reset button and start again. Working on the confidence to do that, but everything does happen for a reason and whatever is meant to be will be.”
“I am still at the cross roads and not sure what road will take me where. So for anyone in the same boat, don’t fret. You will figure it out. But don’t try sail through a storm alone.”
“And finally… when starting a business. There is never ever EVER too many questions to be asked. Seek advice, seek opinions, SEEK AND ASK IT ALL. And most importantly, know your value and always go with your gut.”
Niamh also explained that she can’t go into more detail about what happened to her business as she has been in court over four times this year.
