Laura Whitmore has revealed that she suffered a miscarriage last year.
The 34-year-old, who is in a relationship with Scottish comedian Iain Stirling, found out she lost her baby when she went for her 12 week scan.
In a personal piece she wrote for Hot Press, the Irish TV presenter said she found out she was expecting while she was working in Italy, after noticing her boobs were “massive”.
Admitting the pregnancy wasn’t planned, Laura initially thought “s**t”, but then said to herself: “Or was it s**t? Age 33 and a third; in a relationship; owns own property – it’s hardly scandalous. My mother did it in far tougher circumstances. That much I knew.”
Laura continued: “During those early few weeks, the hardest part was trying to hide the fact that I wasn’t drinking. Isn’t that obscene?! That was my biggest worry.”
“I went to the doctor to confirm the pregnancy, was handed a pile of faded pamphlets and told it’s a good time to get pregnant, as the older you get, the harder it can be.”
“That night were the GQ Awards – a fancy awards ceremony in London – and I wore a little black dress and super stilettos (I mean I may as well enjoy it while I can!). I didn’t want my life to change. I can still be fun Laura and pregnant. Can’t I?”
“But how the hell would I get through the night without anyone noticing I wasn’t drinking? There were journalists everywhere and people were drinking A LOT. I grasped a half-full glass of champagne, my comfort blanket, with the rim orbiting but never actually touching my lips,” she wrote.
“Whatever your views are on drinking during pregnancy, it wasn’t something I wanted to chance. My mother agreed… well except for a glass of Guinness, which – back in 1985 – the doctor had told her she should consume weekly. But, as she insisted, ‘THAT WAS FOR THE IRON LAURA!'”
“So, there I was, sober at the GQ awards, my boyfriend running late – and I bumped into my ex-boyfriend,” Laura continued.
“My now chipped manicure nails clawed into the champagne flute as we did the usual ‘Oh how great to see you! Aren’t you looking well’ routine. I really could have done with a drink. But there was no Guinness in sight.”
“The next few weeks I learned a lot about sobriety. I didn’t have a hangover which was great, but people are very untrusting to someone who doesn’t drink, and HATE being drunk in front of them. Especially if you’re Irish.”
“Honestly, it just became easier to take the drink, bring it to the toilets and flush it down the loo. A lot of good quality alcohol was wasted during this period and for that I’m truly sorry!”
“Then I learned: if you are buying people drinks, they don’t actually notice you’re not drinking. So that’s what I did. I was very popular.”
Laura then described the moment she found out that she had miscarried, when she was three months into her pregnancy.
“At 12 weeks I did my first meet with the midwife and spent two hours going through all my options for the birth. The first scan was scheduled in another two weeks, as that was the earliest we could get,” she wrote.
“I was going away at the weekend, so I decided to do a private scan at Harley Street that evening. In the room I could see the outline of what looked like a jelly baby – just like in the movies. Then silence.”
Laura was told: “I’m sorry there’s no heart-beat.”
She wrote: “I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to react. Should I cry? Was I allowed be emotional for something unplanned?”
“Then the strangest thing happened. The doctor went out to the reception and brought in a puppy. She offered it to me. It was a new puppy that happened to be in the clinic that day – not a usual circumstance. But she hoped it would make me feel better. When in doubt, get the puppies out.”
“Miscarriages happen to 1 in 3 women. I didn’t know this, because most people just don’t talk about it. Now I’m part of that statistic. I hadn’t planned the pregnancy in the first place, so should I be sad? I was,” Laura continued.
“That feeling was heightened because I felt I had to be sad alone: apart from a handful of people, no one knew. I had to deal with high intensity work situations without anyone around me knowing what was really going on inside my head. Although maybe that made it easier to deal with – because I wasn’t actually dealing with it.”
“I poured myself a large glass of wine that didn’t taste as good as I thought it would and I kept on moving forward. Realising now that I do want children and knowing that so many women battle things in silence.”