Brendan Courtney has revealed how his father, Frank, reacted to watching his RTÉ documentary We Need To Talk About Dad.
Last Monday, the fashion stylist brought his laptop to Our Lady’s Hospice in Harold’s Cross, and played him the documentary that has pulled on the nation’s heartstrings, as it follows the Courtney family’s battle to get care for Frank, who was left paralysed due to a stroke almost two years ago.
When the documentary was over, Brendan revealed that his father sat up in his bed, turned to his son and said, “I’m proud of you.”
“I’m proud of me too. And I’m proud of my whole family,” he added.
Proud: Brendan’s father Frank felt proud after watching We Need To Talk About Dad | RTE
Speaking to the Sunday Independent this week, Brendan had just come from visiting his 75-year-old father, and admitted that he wasn’t doing very well.
“He’s tired today. He’s a very sick man. He is tired but then he is very lucid in certain moments. But he is a man who had a very, very severe stroke.
“For people who hadn’t seen him, who saw the documentary, they were really shocked at how he looked. I have been there from the moment he dropped so I’m not shocked by it at all,” he said.
When asked about his mother, Brendan said, “She’s very tired. She misses her husband. She is really missing him at the moment. The house is quiet. The house was never quiet when my father was there. He was a big force.”
Tears: Brendan has been overwhelmed by the amount of people sharing similar stories with him | VIPIRELAND.COM
“Sadness is a very strange thing, because sadness to me feels quite self-indulgent sometimes. Particularly when you are in the middle of it. I am very much of the opinion that we have plenty of time for sadness.
“It is not us sitting in the wheelchair. Sometimes it can catch you. Actually, today a little thought popped into my head, and then I snapped out of it”.
The TV star also admitted that he’s been subject to a lot of tears lately, as he’s had so many people come up to him in the street, sharing their disheartening stories with him.
“I’ve had lots of tears all day. Middle-aged women coming up to me in the street and crying as they are telling me their stories. Parents ill – no support. What are we going to do? Where are we going to care for them? No plan. No structure around the options. Devastated. Guilt.”
Relief: Brendan and his family are relieved that Frank has found his place in the hospice | VIPIRELAND.COM
Speaking about Frank’s health now, Brendan revealed how his father continues to lie about his pain, in a bid to protect his son.
“The first thing I always say to him is: ‘How’s the pain? One to 10?’ He will lie to protect me. I discovered that. He’ll go, ‘I’m brilliant’, and then he’ll go, ‘Not good’. And I’ll ask him again, ‘How is the pain, dad?’ Then, he’ll say [grimacing] ‘Not brilliant. It’s 12. Get them quick!’ Then the medical staff will come in and give him painkillers. So he is in pain a lot.
I’m actually very, very happy he is in the hospice now. It’s only when I pulled back and stopped stressing about it that I realised it is a brilliant place to be,” he said.
Now, the Courtney family have found a sense of peace, as they know that Frank will be looked after in the hospice, and that there’s no fear of him being “kicked out”.
“I suppose, my family are so relieved for him to have a routine, where we know where he is and he is not going to be kicked out, he is not going to be asked to leave, we don’t have to find other care. So from that point of view we are relieved,” he added.
