Us Irish have a tendency to go a bit wild on a night out, and let’s be honest, Paddy’s Day is always one of the messiest nights of the year.
Have work at 9 tomorrow morning? It doesn’t matter, we’re just not able to say no to a few glasses of wine – it’s both a blessing and a curse.
From pre-seshing to going for another round of shots, we’ve listed the 10 Stages Of EVERY Irish night out.
Take a look:
1. The Wardrobe Raid
“I have nothing to wear!” – says every single girl before a night out.
You’d think with the amount of clothes we’ve thrown all over the floor and stuffed in our wardrobes, we’d be able to find something to put on.
Stage 1 is always trying and re trying on the same outfits, taking selfies, asking our friends how we look, and then taking some more selfies (sound familiar?).
The search usually ends because you get lazy, and then you just wear the same black top you’ve worn out the last four nights anyway…
2. The Getting Ready Rush
Curling your hair, lathering on fake tan, doing your makeup, re-doing your makeup – girls have a long lists of things to do before actually being ready for a night out.
No matter how much time we have to get ready, we always need more. If a girl says “I’ll be ready in 10 minutes”, you won’t see her for at least an hour.
Stage 2 always takes the longest, and if you’re a lad it’s probably your quickest stage, but either way good luck to us all, because someone is always left waiting.
Also this is the perfect time to get the wine bottles open…
3. Wine Time
Speaking of wine… This is the part we’ve really been waiting for.
There’s nothing better than sitting around with your mates, drinking wine, and bitching about everything that went wrong that week, and why going out tonight is going to solve all your problems (obviously).
4. Take Your LifeLine Hangover Defence
Of course, you need to take the necessary precautions to deter a painful hangover (ain’t nobody got time for that).
LifeLine Hangover Defence is super easy to use, you literally take the two capsules within an hour or so of your first drink – and that’s it! No hangover for you. (Yes you’re so welcome)
Once you take your unique natural supplement with added vitamins, you can be assured you will actually be able to get up and function like a normal human being the next day, that’s when the fun really begins.
Plus you can get LifeLine Hangover Defence specifically for wine too, so you’ve no excuse!
You can buy LifeLine Hangover Defence in pharmacies and selected SuperValu and Centra stores nationwide.
5. Drinking Games
You name it, a drinking game can be made out of it. (Exhibit A: The Late Late Toy Show drinking game. Exhibit B: Literally ANYTHING to do with Paddy’s Day).
Some nights you may feel like playing Kings, even though you ALWAYS end up getting the King cup and have to drink a disgusting mixture of tequila, vodka, beer, whiskey and a few alco pops…but it’s all in the name of fun!
And we’ve all done a few rounds of Never Ever Have I Ever, great way to divulge all those secrets you swore you’d never tell. (We’ll cheers to that).
6. The Rushed Taxi Scramble
“The taxi is outside!” The four most dreaded words in the English language but at Stage 6 it’s time to actually leave the house now, come on…
These words always mean that you need to down your drink and find your shoes in a much shorter amount of time than you thought you had (and probably re-do the makeup again).
As always, you’ve counted the amount of people wrong and there’s too many people for the taxi, next time order a mini van!
7. The Way-Too-Long Queue
Right, you’re doing well, you’re at Stage 7, you still have your dignity and you’re still slightly sober…give yourself a round of applause.
But this stage is a bit hellish because it involves waiting, and knowing Ireland it will be seriously cold, and probably raining.
Queues into any nightclub in the country are always long, but a big event like Paddy’s Weekend? Good luck.
Be prepared to talk to randomers and avoid eye contact during this annoying period.
Three shots for a tenner? I’d be LOSING money if I didn’t buy these.
It’s usually fine if you buy three drinks for yourself and your friends… But sometimes (always) you end up keeping these babies for yourself.
But you know, be careful and pace yourself, no one likes a messy drunk.
9. Hitting The Dance Floor Like Beyonce
You’ve escaped the queues, you’ve got your drink, you’re looking on fleek, so what else is left to do? DANCE!
Stage 9 means you are fully fledged, winning at life, and all you want to do is shake your booty.
Ask the DJ for literally any Beyonce hit and you will transform into a dancing goddess (cue the wind machines).
10. The Take Away
You’ve made it to Stage 10, which may be the best stage of all because…you get to eat GREASY food.
Whether it’s a curry chip, a garlic and cheese chip, McDonald’s, Burger King or Dominos – everything tastes like a slice of heaven.
Eat it up guys, eat it up.
And remember. you can totally avoid the WORST stage of all – the hangover! Just make sure to take your LifeLine Hangover Defence at Stage 4.
You can buy LifeLine Hangover Defence in leading pharmacies and SuperValu and Centra stores nationwide (get stocking those babies).