Katy Perry has got candid about her battle with depression, admitting at her lowest she couldn’t “get out of bed”.
The singer opened up about dealing with her demons behind the scenes of her “Disneyland” performances.
“You put your personal life away for two hours and realise that people are paying with their time and money to come and see the jester, to escape their own stuff,” she told the Guardian.
“Part of me does provide a Disneyland service. But that’s only a part.”
Off the stage, Katy admitted: “Nothing, no opportunity, no person could inspire me to get out of bed.”
“My depression showed up in lethargy. Like, now I just don’t care about anything. And don’t look forward to anything.”
She admitted that after her marriage to Russell Brand ended and she re-entered her depression, she decided to seek help.
After spending a week at the Hoffman Institute, specialists identified negative behaviours stemming from her childhood: “It’s like Mary Poppins’ bag – you just keep pulling s*** out”.
Katy admitted that “never really truly being invited or cool or accepted” when she was younger is what drove her ambition to be a successful artist.
She added that she often feared she would suffer a public breakdown: “Anyone in this intense a spotlight, they understand that the tightrope just gets tighter and smaller, and that with one word, one costume malfunction, it can all blow up.”
The 35-year-old previously admitted that her split with current fiancé Orlando Bloom in 2017 left her feeling suicidal.
“I had given so much out, and it literally broke me in half. I had broken up with my boyfriend, who is now my baby daddy-to-be,” she told radio station SiriusXM CBC.
“It was so important for me to be broken so that I could find my wholeness in a whole different way. And be more dimensional than just living my life like a thirsty pop star all the time,” she admitted.
“Gratitude is probably the thing that saved my life, because if I did not find that I would have wallowed in my own sadness and probably just jumped.”
“But I found the ways to be grateful. If it gets really, really hard I walk around and say, “I am grateful, I am grateful!”; even though I am in a sh***y mood.”
“Hope has always been an option for me, because of my relationship with God and something that is bigger than me,” she expressed.
“Of course, if I am the one controlling my destiny I am going to be the one driving it into the ground.”
“My hope is that something bigger than me created me for a purpose and created me for a reason, and that I’m not disposable, and that every person that’s been created has a purpose,” she added.
On the latest episode of Goss Chats, Goss.ie Founder & CEO Ali Ryan sits down with beauty guru Mark Rogers.
From his upcoming wedding to surrogacy plans, Mark opens up about a hectic few months ahead.
#GossChats is sponsored by top Irish aesthetic clinic Haus of JeJuve.
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On the latest episode of Goss Chats, @itsalirose sits down with @m.rbeauty who opens up about his upcoming wedding and his surrogacy plans. Plus the beauty guru gives us the best tips for dolling yourself up from home. #GossChats is sponsored by top Irish aesthetic clinic @haus_of_jejuve