Going through a relationship breakup is tough, and it sometimes feels like you’ll never get over it.
Breakups can leave you feeling heartbroken, lost and even physically ill, after losing the person you thought would be in your life forever.
Everything happens for a reason but in the days, weeks and even months after the split, it can be hard to figure out what that reason is.
We’re here to reassure you that it will get better, and we’ve rounded up some healthy ways to deal with your breakup and heal properly.
Take a look:
Validate your feelings
Time doesn’t determine the importance of a relationship. It doesn’t matter if you were together 6 years or 6 weeks – you are allowed to feel heartbroken over a relationship ending.
Don’t try to brush it off or put on a brave face. If it upsets you it upsets you, and there’s no shame in that.
Recognizing how you’re feeling is the first step in dealing with your breakup. Feelings of hurt, anger, betrayal, abandonment and loneliness are all valid. Allow yourself to feel those things when the breakup first happens.
Talk to your friends and family
Don’t suffer in silence. The best thing you can do in the first few days after a breakup is get things off your chest and chat to someone.
If you’re not up to facing anyone in person just yet, try to pick up the phone and call a friend or family member who you know will listen and support you.
Discussing the breakup may not heal your broken heart immediately, but it can help you feel less alone by having someone who loves you be there to comfort you.
If you know someone who has also been through a breakup recently, why not reach out to them? They may be able to relate to how you feel and offer some advice on how they dealt with their breakup.
After a breakup, you may feel like shutting yourself away from the world, locking yourself in your room and just crying for days. But that’s only going to make you feel worse.
Instead, try to distract yourself by making plans and doing things that make you feel good. Whether it’s meeting a friend for a coffee, having a movie night, going for dinner, or even just going out for a walk to clear your head; these small steps can help you feel a whole lot better.
A breakup can be emotionally exhausting and draining, so make sure you’re taking care of you.
Self care can come in many different forms. In the few days after your breakup, self care might come in the form of a movie night in bed with some of your favourite takeaway food.
Another good way of looking after yourself post-breakup is to get your screen time down and switch off from the online world. Why not read a book, do some skincare, meditate, journal or bake something tasty? That way, you’re keeping your mind occupied rather than scrolling on Instagram or TikTok for hours on end, most likely feeling worse about yourself than you did in the first place.
Also make sure you’re drinking lots of water, eating properly, getting a good sleep each night and trying to stay as active as possible after your breakup. It might seem difficult at first, but it will help you heal when you are taking good care of yourself.
Mute your ex
If you’re still talking to your ex, you may be prolonging your healing time. An odd text here or there may be harmless and what you need to get your closure, but constant communication will only make things harder in the long run.
Try to go contact-free for a while after your breakup. It doesn’t mean you can never speak again, it just means you’re focusing on how you feel for a while.
While blocking your ex may be harsh, a lot of social media apps such as Instagram and snapchat give you the option to mute someone. So while you still follow them, their posts and stories won’t be popping up on your feed constantly. You can always unmute them when you feel ready.
This goes hand in hand with avoiding stalking their social media. We’re all guilty of having a sneaky snoop once in a while, but constantly looking at the same photos over and over again isn’t going to make you feel any better.
Give it time
It sounds cheesy, but you really do need to give yourself time.
There isn’t a “normal” time frame for you to get over someone. But slowly and surely, it will get easier each day, and you’ll notice you’re thinking about your ex less and less.
Breakups are a hard part of life, but they can also be a great learning experience. You’ll learn from your past relationships what you do and don’t want in a future partner and most importantly, you’ll learn that your relationship with yourself is the most important one of all.
So give yourself time, look after yourself, and everything will be okay again soon.