Friendships should make you feel good about yourself and feel cared for. But what happens when a friendship turns sour?
According to clinical psychologist Andrea Bonior, a toxic friendship “emotionally harms you, rather than helping you”.
A toxic friend can cause you stress, sadness and anxiety, and leave you feeling drained.
Here are some of the biggest red flags to watch out for in a friendship:
1. It’s all about them
A friendship should be 50/50 for the most part.
Of course there will be times when your friend is going through a rough patch and they may rely on you more than usual for advice and comfort, and vice versa, but you shouldn’t only be hearing from your pal when they need you.
The same goes with conversations. Does your friend show interest in your life or just seem to want to talk about themselves?
Friendships are all about give and take, and if you feel you’re putting way more into your relationship than your pal is, let them know and try to sort things out.
2. You’re the butt of ALL their jokesÂ
A good sense of humour is important in a friendship.
But if you’re constantly feeling like your friend is using you as the butt of their jokes or putting you down for a “laugh”, they may not be that good a friend after all.
Tell them if you feel they’ve taken the joke too far or if you’re sick of jokes being made at your expense.
If they respect your feelings, they’ll make the effort to change their ways but if not, it might be time you cut off that friendship.
3. You don’t feel good after spending time with them
Spending time with friends should be a positive experience.
A huge red flag is when you come away from that time feeling worse than you did going in.
If you’re feeling down, drained, belittled or unheard after spending time with a certain pals, then it may be time to reevaluate that friendship.
4. They aren’t happy about your success
A true friend will always be happy for you when you succeed.
But if instead of celebrating with you or congratulating you they appear bitter or jealous, that is a huge sign that you’re in a toxic friendship.
Jealously about your other friendships is also a major warning sign. A toxic friend will have a hard time sharing you with other friends and tend to get really jealous when you’re with other people.
5. They talk about other friends behind their back
If your friend is talking badly of another friend behind their back, then it may be fair to assume they’re doing the same to you.
Friends have arguments or disagreements and make up, so it’s important to know the difference between discussing a frustrating situation with someone or just simply hating on them for no reason.
Watch out for people who constantly give out about their other friends with no apparent. It may be worth thinking about what they could be saying about you when you’re not around.
If you can relate to one or more of these signs, you may be in a toxic friendship. But instead of just cutting it off, give your pal a chance to change their ways. Talk it out, explain how you’re feeling, and you may be able to salvage your friendship.
