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Opinion: ‘Maybe I’m lowering my chances of marriage but I just don’t want to have kids’

I’ve come to believe there’s all sorts of women when it comes to Maternity.

Women who were born to be mothers, women who were born to be the super auntie and the women who shouldn’t be anywhere near kids…

I think it’s fair to say I come under the ‘shouldn’t be anywhere near kids’ category (a lot of other women feel this way too).



Don’t get me wrong, I’m no scary Mary who throws a kid to the side when they come near me. I just like to hand them back at the end of the day.

I’m a girl (or woman) of a certain age who chooses not to settle down and have kids. I think I’ve known that ever since I was little.

So, am I going to meet a man who wants the same as me?

Will the man I supposedly fall head over heels for, make me change my mind?

Am I lowering my chances of marriage?

I don’t think so…


As Tina Turner said, “Whats love got to do with it”. I  love you , but I love me more .

God I sound like a terribly selfish person, but I’ve never really known how to respond to criticism over not wanting any kids until now .

Women are supposed to love and want children, so are we considered a failure if we don’t have kids?

I’m not the only woman out there who doesn’t want to start a family, and we shouldn’t feel like freaks of nature.

Things are different now, women are putting careers before kids, we’re spending more money on ourselves, on travel (we’re more Carrie Bradshaw these days).


Some people like to tell me that I’m mad and they insist I will change my mind when I meet mr Right.

Mr Right ? I’d be well and truly past the age of having kids waiting for him (let’s be honest).

“It’s the best feeling in the world Amy, you’re mad not having kids” says literally everyone with kids.

But to be brutally honest as a kid my fantasy was to own my very own Louis Vuitton bag, not to become a mother.

Call me selfish, but that was the best feeling in the whole world to me, getting my Louis Vuitton bag.


I’m completely happy not having children. We don’t all have to live in the exact same way.

And as common as it is, it’s insensitive to make comments about women who don’t want to have kids.

The pressure is real, and I don’t think its fair to brand any woman who doesn’t want kids as selfish.

I’d like to share my whole five minutes experience of wanting kids with you all , just so I don’t come across as a heartless b****.

I once went to Disney World many years ago with my ex boyfriend.

I don’t know if it was the sound of the magical chimes or watching how the kids faces lit up as their favourite Disney characters walked by, but it made me cry and feel broody.

Then I heard a baby cry and I was back to normal, the sound of a baby crying actually makes me hyperventilate.

Maybe I just don’t feel like I’m capable of looking after myself let alone another human being.


I’m mid thirties now so I’d have quite a few friends in the same age bracket and older and most of my friends don’t have any kids.

I think they’re too busy enjoying themselves or furthering their careers to even think about kids.

We all talk about how we dread weddings, at our age,your bound to be sat next to someone who is married and who has kids.

Obviously you’ll politely listen and ask the how their kids are etc, then those words come out of their mouths (‘any kids yourself’?).

Tick tock tick tock it’s your biological clock, it’s telling you to get your arse into gear and stop living a life of being footloose and fancy free.

But why should we feel like you have to have it all by your 30s ?

Sometimes the best life is knowing what you really want and what you don’t want.

I don’t remember Snow White or Cinderella having kids in their fairytales and they lived happily ever after…right?



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