Alison Canavan has revealed she has been struggling with alcoholism in an emotional article.
The model mum began her international career aged just 15, and over her career shared catwalks with the likes of Naomi Campbell.
Now aged 38 Alison has spoken for the first time about being alcoholic.
Opening up: Alison admitted she is an alcoholic | VIPIRELAND.COM
“I needed to drink to chat to people, for confidence, to have a personality, to be creative, to have friends, to be accepted and my job revolved around it.
“I would use it to take off the edge, to cope with a tough day,” she wrote in the Sunday Independent’s Life magazine.
“When a reason didn’t present itself I would make it up.
“That’s the thing with addiction – it tells you lies, and you repeat those lies to anyone who will listen.
Partying: Alison’s job made drinking easy | VIPIRELAND.COM
“Addiction rips you apart at your soul level; the very essence of your being dies,” she explained.
“Using becomes a way of being happy – or at least happier than being sober.
“Overall, it’s a vicious cycle that lures you in with false promises of fun, and sits you out with nothing: no self-esteem, broken relationships, arguments, memory loss, lost belongings, wasted days, anxiety and depression.”
In the piece Alison goes on to admit today she is “celebrating 18 months of sobriety” and that she “never expected” to be able to say that.
Sober: Alison quit drinking 18 months ago | VIPIRELAND.COM
Speaking about her years as a top fashion model Alison admitted drinking was apart of the industry.
“For most of my life I numbed myself with drink,” she admitted.
“It was easy. I was a model, and partying was more normal than not partying.
“I was in pain and it was my pain relief.”
Alison added throughout the article that over the years she has suffered from “regular blackouts” and that they began to “scare” her when she didn’t know where she was waking up in the mornings.
Numb: Alison used alcohol as pain relief | VIPIRELAND.COM
“I tried to stop drinking many times and succeeded for days, weeks, even months at a time.
“I periodically fooled myself and I fooled those around me,” she explained.
Now that Alison has stopped drinking the mum-of-one said she can finally “feel” things again but admitted to having anxiety attacks.
“The truth is: it’s damn hard in the beginning, it’s like becoming a baby again – helpless and vulnerable.
VIPs: Alison had an anxiety attack | VIPIRELAND.COM
Alison explained that she attended the VIP Style Awards this year and didn’t drink, but she ended up having a panic attack.
“Inside I was crumbling with anxiety. As we sat at the table I had a massive anxiety attack – my legs were like jelly, my palms were sweating and I felt like I was going to have a heart attack and pass out.
Now Alison says she “no longer” beats herself up.
“Everyday I wake up and say thank you. Then I meditate, and write in my gratitude journal.
“Our brians are primitive and primed for survival and not happiness, happiness is our job and one I take very seriously,” she added.
