Grieving Bob Geldof has told how he has found his daughter Peaches’ death “intolerable” – and will break down in tears in public.
But the Boomtown Rats frontman is forced to duck into alleyways to sob over fears the paparazzi will catch him crying.
However, the 62-year-old knows he has to try and “get on with it” but doesn’t expect to get over the pain of her heroin-induced death for a long time.
“There’s not many options. It’s intolerable. It’s very hard, as everybody must realise – especially if it happened to them to. And what do you do? You get on with it,” he said.
“These things assault you without warning, you could be talking to someone or walking down the road – and these things are very raw.
Family: Peaches and her siblings with dad Bob
“But sometimes, out of the blue, there’s an awareness of her. I buckle. And I’ve got to be very careful, because walking down the road there are paps everywhere.
“So I have to duck down a lane or something and blub for a while then get on with. But I imagine it will be there for a while [before I get over it].”
And Bob revealed that his decision to propose to long-term girlfriend, French actress Jeanne Marine, was his way of bring “some light in” after Peaches’ passing.
“I was going to do it on her birthday, I love her to bits… But then Peaches died, and things were very bleak, and I thought how do we move forward?,” he explained.
“I don’t mean move on, time doesn’t heal, it accommodates and finds an available space in your brain… I didn’t want to rush it, and I was going to do it anyway, so I thought we needed to let some air into the room. Let some light in.”
Engaged: Bob and fiancee Jeanne Marine | VIPIRELAND.COM
And Bob told Lorraine that he has loved how much on an impact Peaches has had on people.
“We were overwhelmed by people writing to us, in the kindest way. obviously, complete strangers but who felt it,” he said.
“The nice thing about it is this young girl had made such an impact, especially on her generation… People will come up to me and say, ‘You’re Peaches Geldolf’s dad, aren’t you?'”
And speaking fully about her death for the first time, Bob said that being on stage is the only way he survives – but even that can emotionally stun him.
“Being on stage is entirely cathartic. It clears your head… I just get on a stage and go mad,” he said.
Emotional:Â Peaches Geldof and husband Thomas Cohen | VIPIRELAND.COM
“But if I dwell on the words I find it hard to struggle through the song, because they take on whole meanings that I never meant when I wrote them.
“There’s a song we had – it was a big hit for the Rats – called Diamond Smiles. It was a very big hit. I was writing about a girl I read about in one of the papers, she was a socialite.
“She went to a posh party, and she went upstairs and hanged herself during the party. It was a tiny little piece, I think that somebody said she was the brightest of diamonds and I called the song Diamond Smiles.
“And if I really think about those words – and usually I’m in the zone of those words – it’s too bizarre whether it’s about Paula or now Peaches. Stuff like that.
“Other than that you’re on stage and you’re just going for it, you’re so engaged in it… and you’re just lost in this moment. Then when I come off stage I am physically exhausted and mentally clear.”
