Sarah Hyland has revealed that she once came “very, very close” to taking her own life.
The Modern Family star has battled a number of health issues over the years, and underwent a second kidney transplant in September 2017 – after her body started to reject the one her father gave her years earlier.
Speaking to Ellen Degeneres about her struggles, Sarah opened up about how her health issues caused serious depression, and even made her suicidal.
“I have an amazing job, an amazing support system, but…after 26, 27 years of just always being sick and being in chronic pain every single day, you don’t know when you’re going to have the next good day. It’s really, really hard,” she said.
“I would write letters in my head to loved ones of why I did it and my reasoning behind it, how it was nobody’s fault and I didn’t want to write it down on paper because I didn’t want anyone to find it because that’s how serious I was.”
Ellen asked, “Were you really close to doing that?” and Sarah replied, “I was very, very, very, very close, yeah.”
Sarah went on to explain how she got herself out of such a deep state of depression,
“I finally said it out loud to someone and that someone—I’d been saying, ‘I need to go to see a therapist. I think I need to go see a therapist again,’ and they were like, ‘No, no, why would you see one? You can just talk to me.'”
She continued, “When I said it out loud, they were like, ‘Oh, you need to see a therapist,’ and that’s when I was like, ‘Ok, I don’t think you’re going to help me. I think I need to really do this on my own and really do even more digging and soul-searching,’ and just saying it out loud helped immensely because I kept it to myself for months and months at a time and saying it out loud really helped.”
“It ended up being myself that got me out of that. I had to do it on my own. I told myself I had to do it on my own.”
Sarah added, “Every person with their anxiety or depression or if you have suicidal thoughts—every individual is different, so I wouldn’t just rely on everything that I say. I’m just sharing my story, but I think talking to someone and saying it out loud really, really makes it sound almost ridiculous and it puts everything into perspective.”
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