Caitlyn Jenner has revealed that she contemplated suicide before she transitioned.
The reality TV star shared her story which Channel 4 later shared on Twitter.
In the video Caitlyn reveals how a paparazzi photo taken by TMZ made her consider using the gun in her home to take her own life before the news site could out her for beginning her transition.
She said, “One time in my life, I actually thought about [suicide].”
“I’ll never forget it. It was about six months before I came out and I had a picture. I got for years before I actually – Diane Sawyer came out and told my story… For years, I would have all sorts of issues with the tabloids and the paparazzis coming up with every story they could possibly come up with.”
“They put my head on women’s bodies, they did this, and I never talked to a soul. I would have four or five paparazzi cars following me everywhere I went, taking pictures.”
“Well, I was in Beverly Hills and I came out a back entrance of a place and they got this picture of me getting into the car. And actually, I just had my tracheal shaved. Early in the morning, on a Sunday morning, and that night I didn’t see anybody.”
“And that night I get a phone call from TMZ saying, ‘We have this picture, what are you going to do?’ He goes, ‘So, this is the beginning of transition.’ And so on, and on, and on.”
You know, Harvey’s going… And I say, ‘Harvey, don’t even talk about this. It’s none of your business and please, when you do stuff like that it affects peoples lives.'”
“And that night I knew that that picture was coming out. And that night, I remember I couldn’t sleep. And I’m walking up and down the halls in my house, all by myself.”
“And I’m thinking to myself, ‘You know what I’ve got a gun in the other room. I could go in, use it, no more pain, move on. It seemed like the easy way out.”
“And then, obviously I didn’t do it. Tried to get some sleep. The next day I got up and I went for a walk and I’m walking through this field all by my little lonesome out in the woods. And I’m walking through this field and I’m thinking to myself ‘Wasn’t that like the stupidest thing you could possibly do?’ And that is silence your voice. Why don’t you look at this thing a little bit differently? Why don’t you open up your voice? Why don’t you talk? Why don’t you tell your story?'”
“That was kind of my low point in life. And from then on I never thought about it again.”
She shared her story in an attempt to highlight mental health struggles within the trans community.
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