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What If He's A Weirdo? 10 Thoughts We All Have Before First Dates

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What gives you more nervous anxiety than your Leaving Cert Maths paper and makes you sweat more than Tommy Tiernan? A first date of course!

We all get the same feelings on the day of a first date: nervousness, butterflies, excitement… and sometimes – sheer panic.

In honour of reality TV show First Dates hitting Irish screens soon, Goss HQ have compiled a list of thoughts that every woman has before the impending doom of first date awkwardness.

And remember, all first dates are a little bit awkward in the beginning so don’t worry about it, unless he’s full on giving Freddie Krueger a run for his money, which in that case – get out of there girl!

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10. What Do I Wear?

The crucial question that’s on every girls lips the night before the big date, “What the f**k am I gonna wear?”

After thrashing through your wardrobe and telling your housemate that you “literally have no clothes” despite being surrounded by potential outfits – you finally pick something (after a lot of blood, sweat and tears has been shed).

Just remember, less is more (not literally) and never go too over the top on a first date.

Usually a smart-casual outfit for a dinner/movie date will work wonders, but if 6-inch heels and a bandage dress is your thing, then work it girlfriend!

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9. What Do I Order?

This might seem like a stupid thing to be thinking about before a date, but to many girls this involves some planning.

Nobody wants to be sweatin’ over the fact that pasta sauce might splash all over your white top or dribble down your chin, so go with whatever you think will be easiest for you to eat.

Basically, NEVER pick the Spaghetti Bolognese to save yourself the stress and pick something you can easily nibble on while keeping the conversation going with your date.

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8. What Do We Talk About?

Everyone has a few classic first date questions up their sleeve, such as the standard “What do you do?” questions, but what do you talk about for the rest of the time?

Thankfully the general first date questions tend to lead to further questions allowing the conversation to flow naturally, so no need to stress.

Just remember, it probably isn’t wise to mention your ex-boyfriend or the stomach bug you had three weeks ago. Just sayin’.

“I told him that I was engaged to my last boyfriend.. Was that bad?”

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7. What If He Doesn’t Show Up?

This is a genuine fear that some people have when it comes to dating, will he show up or not?

Whether it’s a Tinder date or you met through someone you know, everyone always has that fear of rejection but luckily it doesn’t happen very often.

And if it DOES happen? Then let’s hope they have a good excuse or else they are most definitely not worth your time.

“Ah, in fairness, his hamster had just died so I understand why he didn’t show up..” – said no one EVER.

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6. Should I Offer To Pay?

Ah, the age old question – should I offer to pay or should I let him settle the cheque?

Personally, we think offering to split the bill is the way to go, whether he accepts it or not is a different story in itself – but always offer.

We’re all for guys being gentlemen and offering to pay, but we’ve gotta remain independent women at the same time.

*flicks hair*

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5. What If He’s A Weirdo?

This plays on the back of everyones minds before they go on a first date – what if he’s a total freak?

Queue the excessive Internet stalking on all his social media accounts and assessing his profile with your best mate.

“Ah, he has a dog… he must be grand.”

Usually you can tell within the first half an hour of your date if the guy is giving off weird vibes, so if you fear this will happen you then head straight to number four.

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4. What If I Need To Escape?

This is something girls will ask themselves surprisingly more often than not.

Planning an escape route before a date, especially if you’re meeting someone you don’t particularly know, is one of the key ways of preparing for a big date night.

Basically, you call up your friend and organise a plan that involves some sort of code to get you out of the situation if your not feeling your date.

Obviously you wouldn’t leave a guy hanging in a restaurant just because you didn’t think he was great looking because that would be just mean, but if you do have a genuine reason (number 5, for example) then escape plans are absolutely necessary.

“Right so, if I text you the shrimp emoji then you ring me saying you’ve fallen down the stairs, ok?”

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3. Does He Want The Shift?

Ah, the question that plays on everyone’s mind right before you walk out the door, “Is he going to kiss me?!”

Kissing on the first date is purely down to personal preference and obviously how the date went, so if you’re down for an aul smooch at the end of the night then go for it, but don’t feel like you have to.

And remember, if you think he’s gonna be going in for a goodnight kiss, then don’t forget that red lipstick is ALWAYS a bad idea.

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2. Do I smell?

The last thing anyone wants is that your dates first impression of you is that you smell like fake tan mixed with Dominos pizza.

Everyone wants to make a good first impression, and smelling sweet rather than sour will definitely leave your date wanting more.

Queue the excessive sprays of perfume while you ask your mate to have a smell of your pits/breath before you go (everyone does it, don’t lie..).

Just make sure you don’t go totally over the top with the eau de parfum for fear of poisoning your date with perfume pollution.

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1. What If I Get Drunk and Ruin Everything?

The Fear is a friend to nobody, and an enemy to everybody – and getting really drunk on a first date and vomiting on the guy you fancy’s shoes will probably leave you feeling a little worse for wear.

Everyone naturally wants to calm their nerves with alcohol, and a first date can be one of the most nerve wracking things known to man so just remember to take it easy with the cocktails.

The last thing you want is to have one too many and ruin your chances with a guy that you could potentially really like, so maybe lay off on ordering that second round of tequila.

“I woke up with taco sauce in my hair and nobody to love. Why the f**k did I drink so much last night?”

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