Thanks to a lot of controversy over last weeks column, Single In The City is getting more coverage than ever before (it’s only been going on three weeks but say nothing). You’ll be able to see some of the comments that caused uproar here.
Due to the column being great craic, some people are saying it’s the next big thing, (I don’t really listen to the hype though, it’d take me all day), I’ve been lucky enough to talk about dating on the radio and tv, and one question keeps coming up- Orla are you sure you want to do this, because you’ll never get a boyfriend? The other question they ask is, what is ‘Ghosting’?
Ghosting is the new age way of being dumped. It’s cruel, it’s not nice and it will 100% happen to you. Being ghosted is when you are seeing someone or maybe even just texting someone for a period of time and then they never ever reply…
You assume something must have happened them? Maybe they’re really hungover? Maybe they have no battery? Maybe they got into some kind of accident? (please God). But you know he wasn’t drinking last night, you can see that he has been online, and you know he’s alive and breathing because you’ve already checked RIP.ie.
You guys might find this shocking, but I have actually fallen victim to being ghosted. And not just once. I have on many occasion had conversations with guys on Tinder that have seemed to be going down the banter route, and then without fail, a deafening silence.
I am 100% certain that it’s because they found out I have a Snapchat and Youtube channel. And that is because that’s the last thing I say before the tumbleweeds blow in. Which means if I wasn’t destined for a life of cats, I’m certainly fucked now.
A couple of months ago I matched with a guy on Tinder. He seemed cute, there was banter and I thought this is grand I’ll go on a date with him. So we organised on the Sunday to meet for dinner on the Friday, which I cannot believe I even agreed to to be honest because eating in front of a guy is just an absolute nightmare and no girl should have to do it. So Tuesday came around and there wasn’t any sign of a text. My friend assured me that I would definitely hear from him and we made a bet that if he didn’t text me, he would buy me a drink. Fast forward to Friday night, me sitting in The Odeon sipping a cold, free, Guinness. Looking back as I write this, I have literally no idea why I never text the guy during the week, but listen everything happens for a reason.
Thanks to the ghosting that night, I ended up scoring someone who in turn ruined my summer. At least now we don’t talk, not because he ghosted me but because he didn’t have a pair of balls.
Another time I fell victim to ghosting was through another Tinder match and I’m sort of starting to see a pattern here.. We all remember Sean from last week. Well, I eventually messaged him to say I wasn’t feeling it because I believed in dating karma. I had started messaging another guy and I didn’t want to be ghosted by him. LOL, guess I proved my ‘dating karma’ theory is a load of bollocks.
The guy was Italian, he worked in Facebook, and he was the biggest fucking ride I’ve ever seen in my life. This guy was straight out of Magic Mike and I was obsessed. He met my friends, I met his, and we were casually seeing each other for a few months. Then, one day, I never heard from him again. I had been ghosted. Big time…
I couldn’t really get my head around it. That was, until, I relayed the story two months later to a friend. You see, it turns out, I’m actually an idiot. Looking back, there were a lot of signs I didn’t pick up on. Him being annoyed that I wouldn’t invite him to my birthday (why would he want to go?), him asking me to meet his parents (weird), him asking me to marry him (that didn’t actually happen, but I was so blinded that if it did, I wouldn’t have noticed).
Then my friend asked me, well what was the last thing you text him? So I told him how he said he wasn’t free for drinks and that I replied ‘Boo, you whore’. Now I’m sorry, but who the f*** doesn’t know a Mean Girls quote? I’ll tell ya who. An Italian that works in Facebook. I’m sure Italy has subtitles though, so ya know yourself, no excuses.
So what have I learnt from my ghosting experiences?
1. Always check RIP.IE
2. Guys are scared of girls who snapchat and blog. So delete your accounts girls, it’s not worth it.
3. Don’t agree to go to dinner with someone ever, because you’ll starve yourself out of nervousness all week and never even get a meal out of it.
4. If you match with an absolute RIDE, don’t try to play it cool because you will be the cause of your own ghosting.Â
5. Dating karma does not exist, but you still shouldn’t be a prickÂ
I think we’ve all encountered silent assassins, ghosting left, right and centre, whether it was done on purpose or not.
So the next time you’ve been ghosted, and you’re sitting at home questioning why, just remember- you technically had the last word, and they have a tiny knob!
Til next Sunday,
Orla x
